Forever not yours
by MirielOfNoldor
Summary: What if Bella hadn't been so quick to figure out The Cullen family's big secret? And what if she hadn't been so keen on vampirism nor so accepting when finding out? What would have happened if Edward had been more secretive and tried harder to keep his secret? Delve into this unexplored part of the Twilight realm to discover my take on the matter...
1. The look

Chapter 1

"Is this seat taken?", I asked and pointed towards the chair next to his. He jerked his head, looking as he had been in deep thought and then just stared at me for a brief moment. "Eh... Of course! You can sit here", he blurted out and pulled out the chair. "Okay, great", I said awkwardly next to him and slipping my bag onto the back of the chair. I looked around and noticed that the whole class was observing us curiously and I felt my face getting warm. But as being saved by the bell literally the teacher entered the classroom and stole the attention of the class by announcing that there would be a group project coming up which would make for a good part of this semesters grade. While the other kids in the classroom were moaning and complaining over the assignment the teacher walked around handing out the assignment.

"I'd like you to pair up, and please try to think outside the box and work with someone you don't usually work with", the teacher said and handed me the paper with the assignment. Edward was still just sitting next to me, not moving a muscle. I was starting to get really uncomfortable with the silence between us so I decided that I had to be the bigger person here and make an effort. I turned to him and stretched out my hand. "So... I'm Bella Swan." Yet again he flinched and looked at me a bit startled and then he took my hand. "Um, yeah, I know. You're Sheriff Swans daughter, Isabella. My dad and your dad go fishing together from time to time."He kept holding my hand, looking uneasy. Then suddenly he let go of my hand and looked as if he did not know what to do next. "Oh okay, so your dad knows Billy. Cool. And by the way, I prefer to be called Bella instead of Isabella." Still he was looking at me, in a perplexed way and I started to wonder if I had something on my face. He just kept looking at me with his big dark eyes and I myself was at a loss of words. "Okay then, Bella it is", he said and suddenly smiled at me, "Do you need a lab partner, Bella?"

All of a sudden his awkwardness was gone and he had remained his regular confident posture, the way he'd been the first time I'd seen him in the cafeteria. He was ridiculously good-looking when he was smiling and I caught myself blushing once more. "If you don't mind, yes, please!", I blurted out and smiled a bit abashed,"This try-to-find-a-new-partner-guideline Mr. Simons just gave us doesn't really provide me very much help seeing as I don't know anyone here. And I'm actually not that hopeless when it comes to biology, so I promise I won't be a burden." I realized how utterly pathetic and needy I sounded and blushed even more. Why don't you ever just shut up in time, Isabella Swan? But Edward just laughed and shot me a killer smile. "I never doubted it for a second, you have a sharp look about you, Isabella Swan", he said and laughed an odd laughter, as if he knew something that I did not.


	2. I heard a rumour

Chapter 2

The hour in class passed quite swiftly and after overcoming his first rather weird reaction to my being there Edward was all friendliness and seemed at ease. We juggled a couple of different ideas for our project and then later agreed on a schedule so to be able to finish the project in time. Ever so often Edward would break the seriousness of the conversation to jokingly give me little tips on how to please the different teachers at the school and how to charm my way to good grades. "Our english teacher, Mrs. Keats, just looooves H.P. Lovecraft for example, which is quite dark and weird in my opinion. I once noticed she had a copy of one of his books in her bag and mentioned that I liked the novel "The shadow over Innsmouth". Next thing I know the janitor is knocking on the door, asking us to leave because he wants to lock the front door. Never making that mistake again!", Edward said and laughed heartily.

And I laughed too, feeling at ease in his company, because although his first quite off-putting behaviour had thrown me off a bit he was starting to grow on me now with his friendly manners. It would be nice to have at least one friend who acts like a real person at this school, as opposed to the clones I'd been hanging out with the past few days. Sure, Jessica and her gang were nice and all, but they seemed like a quite shallow bunch and I was already growing tired of having Mike Newton drooling over me like a rabid dog, and Jessica glaring at us every time we happened to be in the same room. That would get old pretty quick... Angela on the other hand seemed like a genuine person, but I assumed hanging out with her also entail having to hang out with the rest of the bunch. Maybe I should bet my money on Edward and his suave gang of siblings instead?

"Well, showing too much interest in a teachers life can never be good I suppose? Just look at Mary-Kay Letorneau", I said laughing and he smiled at me. "You remember that? I thought everyone had forgotten that old story. So you're into teacher-student-romance I presume? Because rumour has it that the gym teacher doesn't frown upon that either?", Edward said laughing and threw me a daring look. I laughed and nudged his arm, resenting the accusation. "Um, no!", I blurted out, blushing a bit, "That's so not my thing! Gross! My mom used to work as a substitute teacher when I was younger and she was all frantic about that story and how anyone in a position of authority could do such a thing. But by the way, aren't all gym teachers a bit creepy? There's gotta be something fundamentally wrong if you chose a profession that entails torturing students to the brink of madness?". "I suppose you've got a point there", he said smiling at me and holding my gaze just a bit too long. The spell he supposedly was trying to cast on me was broken by the sudden ring of the bell.

"Okay, I hope you've all managed to get a pretty good idea of what you're going to do with your projects. I'd like a first draft of your ideas on my desk on Friday!", Mr. Simons called out as the students started to gather their belongings and quickly heading for the door. Edward cooly started collecting his things and I did the same, though probably in a whole lot clumsier way. I briefly wondered if I would ever catch a break from being uncoordinated and clumsy and be able to walk around like normal people, not always stumbling and falling over myself. Edward waited at me by the door and walked along my side out in the corridor. "So maybe we could meet someday after school and complete the draft?", Edward said as I stood by my locker, fumbling for the my keys to my locker in my bag, "And I could let you in on more of Forks High's well-hidden secrets?"

"Sure, that sounds like a good plan", I said, putting my books into my locker, "I'm making dinner for Charlie tonight, but maybe tomorrow after school if you're available?" "Tomorrow is great. Maybe I could come over to your house? My parents are renovating the living room right now and everything is just covered with dust, it's a mess", he said, suddenly looking a bit uneasy. "Sure, that's fine, I'm sure Charlie won't mind. He'll probably be working anyway", I said, looking at him and trying to decipher why he'd gotten all weird again at the mentioning of his house. He met my gaze and held it steady, and even though I didn't quite buy his sudden composure I decided it was none of my business what was going on at his house. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then", Edward said and shot me a killer smile before turning around and heading down the corridor. "Bye", I mumbled as I watched him disappear. I'd learned how to smell trouble at an early age after my mom's numerous boyfriends and I got the sense that this guy might be a heap of trouble too. Who did he think he was fooling?

 **Writers note: Thank you all for the response I got on my first chapter! I've never written fan fiction before and I was pleasantly surprised by getting comments and readers so fast. So, on a another, more exciting note, the other chapter will be from Edward's POV, so stay tuned...**


	3. We're not gonna take it

Chapter 3

 **Edward's POV**

I slammed the door shut behind me and sat down with my back towards the door. Downstairs I could hear things breaking and raised voices, and I could hear Emmett and Esme arguing with Jasper, trying to calm him down. Soon they'd probably ask me to come downstairs to help them restrain him, that was usually how the cookie crumbled at this hour of the day. Just another day in paradise. I heard a knock upon my door. "Edward, can I come in?", Alice asked, her voice beseeching. "Just call on me when he gets too crazy and I'll come down and help you restrain him", I said reluctantly. " I always do", I mumbled to myself. "Edward, please. This situation is hard on all of us. Can I PLEASE come in? I'd like to talk to you. Edward, please?" Alice knew I couldn't say no to her so I stood up and opened the door to her.

"So talk", I said and sat myself down on the edge of my bed. I felt like a grouchy five-year-old acting this way towards Alice but I was beyond fed up with the situation. All I wanted was to try and be a normal teenager for once and maybe get a glimpse of what it would be like to live a normal life for the first time in ages. But that wasn't going to happen with Jasper in the house...

Alice sat down next to me, putting her hands in her lap and trying to catch my eye and I reluctantly looked at her. "I'm sorry for how this is affecting you, Edward. I know you wanted to make a fresh start here in Forks. I know things are hard with Jasper being this way..." "Hard? Hard?", I interrupted her, irritated by the way she seemed to think she knew how I felt about it, "Hard is an understatement. Ever since Jasper slipped up and drained that girl he's been in a total blood-craze, which we've all have had to endure for almost a year now. And I know you think you're helping him by giving him rations of human blood to help him endure school, but you're only prolonging his suffering. You are NOT helping him. I've tried to be helpful, but I'm fed up with coming home to this every day. I know he can't help himself but one person can't cast a shadow over six other people the way he does. I'm done, I'm really done. Either he goes or I go."

Alice looked at me with sad eyes, and I felt a sting of guilt, but I also knew I was entitled to feel what I was feeling. Alice was well aware of how much we'd all put up with from Jasper the past year and how all were reaching the limit, even though I was the one who most openly expressed it. "It's not that easy you know. Jasper is having a hard time and we can't let him down in his time of need, he needs us. I love him you know, I can't just leave him, he's my soulmate..." "Well, I wouldn't know what that's like, now would I?", I interrupted here again," And I'm not likely to ever get to feel that way if I stay in this dysfunctional family. You've all done a lot for me, and I am grateful for it, but I can't just stand around watching when Jasper is running amok and you're all doing nothing while he's risking our whole existence. That's NOT fair." Alice opened her mouth to say something, but halted and remained quiet.

"I know you love him and that you can't leave him, but he's not getting better here. You have to send him away, Alice", I said in a milder tone and took her hand, "We can't all be living in Jaspers hell, we've been doing that long enough. He has to go away and fix himself before he can live with the rest of us. You know it's true." Alice drew a deep breath and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I know, Edward, I know. I don't think I ever really believed he'd get better just with our help, not after his slip-up. He had a hard time even before that, and now he's out of control. I just didn't want to have to leave you all, I really love our family and the home we've created here. But I know I and Jasper can't stay here, not the way it is."

"You can stay here, Alice, but Jasper cannot", I said and looked at her firmly, "Jasper has got to figure this one out on his own, without your help. If he's ever going to get over his bloodlust it has to be by his own free will, you can't sugarcoat his life forever." I took both her hands in mine and fixed my eyes upon here. I could tell she was on the brink of tears and I reached out to embrace her. She relaxed at my touch and she hugged me back, slightly sobbing. "We're going to get through this together, this too shall pass", I mumbled and hugged her hard. "I'll talk to Carlisle", she said in a low voice, hugged me one last time and then left the room. I laid back on the bed and all the air went out of me. Was I ever going to be allowed to be a normal teenager?

 **Writer's note: First of all, I just want to thank the people who've taken their time to comment on previous chapters. I'm really grateful for it. I'm new to , so I haven't really figured everything out yet, like answering comments for example, but I'm getting there. I hope you're all enjoying the story so far and that you'll enjoy what I've got planned for our beloved characters...**


	4. What's love got to do with it?

Chapter 4

"And are there any cute guys at school?", my mom asked enthusiastically as I was looking through the cup boards, trying to localize where Charlie kept the salad bowl. I sighed at her question, but I wasn't surprised by it. For as long as I could remember my mom had been dating one guy after the other and I was in fact quite surprised that she'd stuck around Phil for 3 years now without getting restless. "Haven't really noticed, mom", I said and adjusted my headset which had gotten ensnared around my arm, not that I understood how. You probably had to be in the Hall of fame of the clumsy to succeed, or just be me. "Oh, honey", my mom said, suddenly sounding a bit guilty, "I'm sorry I turned your life upside down by going with Phil, it's just that..." "It's fine", I interrupted her, suddenly feeling guilty for the tone I'd used, "I chose this, and anyhow, there was no way for me staying in Phoenix by myself with you and Phil always being on the road. And it's fine here, I like spending time with Charlie." I left out the part about that Charlie seemed to be in bigger need of the company than I was. Where did he keep that freaking salad bowl?!

"And the kids at school are being really friendly and welcoming, I'll probably end up with more friends than I ever had back in Phoenix," I said, searching through the last cup board and realizing there probably wasn't a sallad bowl to be found at all in this kitchen. "Of course you will, honey. Forks is a friendly place, I'm sure you'll feel right at home in no time", she said reassuringly, maybe more to reassure herself than anyone else. Is that why you couldn't leave Forks soon enough, I thought to myself, but then biting my lip, resenting my bitterness. This really had nothing to do with her, Charlie or even Forks. "And have you heard anything from Dan?", my mom asked cautiously, knowing that she was treading on thin ice. I drew yet another deep breath, hoping that Charlie would get home soon so that I could end this conversation. Charlie at least had the good sense of not asking too much and appreciating the silence. "Nope, nothing", I said and put down the plates on the table with a bang, "But it's fine, I mean, people grow apart every day. I'm sure he's got his hands full at college and I'm busy here..." I realized I was slipping into jibberish so I decided to stop. "Oh honey, but you were more than that, weren't you?", my mom started, but as if my prayers had been heard by some greater power Charlie suddenly barged in through the kitchen door.

"Hey, Bells!", he said cheerily and hung his jacket on a hanger next to the door, "What smells so good?" "Mom, I've got to go", I said, relieved by Charlie's well-timed return, "Charlie just got home and we're having dinner." "That's fine, sweetie", my mom reassured me, even though I could tell there was a hint of disappointment in her voice, "Say hello to Charlie from me, will you? And call me soon, okay? I miss you." Yet again I felt a sting of guilt. "I will, mom. And I miss you and I love you too. I'll call you soon", I said with my most gentle voice and then hanging up.

"I suppose that was your mom?", Charlie said, standing by the sink washing his hands and trying to sound unfazed by it, even though it was obvious that he still had a soft spot for her even after all these years. "Yup", I said placing the casserole on the table, "She says hello by the way. On another note, I couldn't find the salad bowl. Where have you hidden it?" For a short moment Charlie looked dumbfounded and then he cringed slightly. "Well, Bells... I mostly just cook for myself and I haven't made a habit of making sallad...", he said apologetically, looking unhappy. Sometimes I forgot the fact that Charlie had been on his own ever since me and mom left 16 years ago, I suppose he hadn't had very many fancy dinner parties here since then. "Oh that's fine, Charlie", I reassured him smiling and putting my hand on his shoulder, "I'll just take a regular bowl, it's fine, really." I took a bowl and mixed the sallad I'd chopped in it and then set it on the table.

Charlie still stood by the sink, looking as he didn't know what to do next and I decided to take charge of the situation. "Well, it's all finished, so let's eat!", I said as cheerily as I could muster and he snapped out of his trance. "Great, Bells", he said and sat down by the table. I sat down on the opposite side and started to fill up my plate. "So how was school?", Charlie asked after a while, obviously thinking this was expected behavior in his role as the devoted father. I decided to go easy on him, like I had with my mom.

"It was pretty cool actually", I said and took a big bite to avoid having to elaborate on the subject. "That's cool", Charlie said, sounding as if he'd just uttered something in a foreign language. Down with the kids 1-0-1... "Did you make any friends?", he continued, yet again trying to sound unconcerned even though I knew he was probably praying to some great entity that I was making friends and starting to feel at home. "Yeah, I talked to a couple of the kids. They were all really friendly and welcoming. And my lab partner seems really cool actually, his name is Edward. He said you go fishing with his dad from time to time?" I could see how a great burden was lifted from Charlie's shoulders with those words and he smiled brightly at me. "Well, sure!", he said happily and took a sip of water," Dr. Cullen is quite the fisherman. I don't know how he does it, but he always manages to catch the biggest fish, it's quite remarkable. There was this one time..." Charlie suddenly stopped talking, probably realizing he was talking about fishing someone who preferred to never go anywhere near nature if given the opportunity. Which was probably a good thing, because I didn't do too well with slippery roots and deep water. Well, pretty much anything that you could trip over or slip on was a no-go in my book.

"Well, anyhow, Edward seems like a great kid. Really well-mannered and he does well in school Dr. Cullen tells me. And he's quite easy on the eyes too, I suppose." Charlie uttered the last sentence rather awkwardly, which pretty much reflected how I felt about it. "Uhm, yeah, Charlie...", I said cringing in my seat, "I'm really not that interested in those kinds of things, and not in settling down in Forks forever..." I broke off my sentence, seeing that I'd hit a sore spot. Charlie looked as the air had gone out of him for a short while and then regained his calm. "It's fine, Bells. I know you're not here to stay forever. Hell, we don't even have a college here", he said, trying to sound at ease about it," I'm just happy that I get to spend this time getting to know you. I kinda wish we'd had more time while you were growing up, but with Renée always on the move it was hard. But I guess we've got time now, right?" He looked at me, looking for reassurance and I smiled at him brightly. "Yeah, we've got plenty of time", I said, not out of guilt but sincerely meaning it. Maybe living in Forks wasn't going to be so bad after all...


	5. We belong

Chapter 5.

After dinner I went up to my room go have some alone time. I figured Charlie needed some too, I mean there was only so much to say about school and Forks. I heard Charlie turning on the tv downstairs and I closed the door behind me. Charlie had really given decorating my room a serious effort and I actually quite liked what he'd done to it. I layed down on the bed and looked up into the ceiling, just contemplating the day for a moment.

At first when my mom had told me about going away with Phil I'd been panicking a bit, since I knew there was no way I could go with them without jumping from school to school and I could tell that Renée really wanted to go with him. And of course I didn't want to ruin that for her, so my only option seemed to be to offer to go live with Charlie. She was really hesitant at first, but she pretty soon also drew the conclusion that that was probably the best option. And hey, it honestly wasn't a huge deal to me, I'd gotten used to the nomad life after 17 years with a restless mother. Sure, I'd realized it would be a bit odd to live with Charlie at first, seeing as we hardly knew each other, but it wasn't like I'd be leaving a bunch of friends behind. Well, except for Dan that is.

Dan and I met when I was 12 and he was 13. I'd seen him around school several times without actually paying any attention and honestly he wasn't someone who'd have people gawking when entering a room. He was one of those tall and lanky guys with a bit of a quirky look, not quite hipster but more on the odd side. He always wore t-shirt with prints that demanded serious thought for you to even understand if there was a pun in it or if it was just something really deep. He had shoulder length dark hair which he tried to keep tied back, but somehow a couple of strands always managed to escape, leaving him looking a bit savage. He had friends, so he couldn't be counted as a total outcast, even though you'd think so seeing as he often left his friends behind and sitting alone reading, until they found him and dragged him with them.

Anyhow, Dan wasn't the kind of guy you'd notice and I probably wouldn't have either, if it hadn't been for "Madame Bovary". It was in sixth grade and I'd just started getting into literature for real, trying to reach beyond your typical YA books. I'd just finished "Thérèse Raquin" and decided that "Madame Bovary" by Flaubert was to be my next conquest. I walked over to the shelf were the book was supposed to be standing, but after looking through the shelf several times I still couldn't find it. And that's when I noticed Dan, sitting in one of the windows a couple of steps away holding "Madame Bovary". I sighed irritated. Normally no one at this school fought me over the books and I was used to being able to get my hands on the books I wanted to read right away. I decided to at least let him know that he was cramping my style and walked over to him.

"Hey! Could you maybe leave that book to the librarian when you're done with it?", I said in a meek voice. He looked up from his book, just staring at me distrustfully, without saying a single word. Great, was he going to give me attitude about this? "Yeah, because I'd like to read it when you're done so it'd be a great help if you did. The librarian will give it to me", I said, irritated by the fact that I had to explain myself further. "If your teacher has recommended you to read this book you'll probably want to go looking for another book to read since I only just started reading it", he said arrogantly and then returning his gaze to the book. The nerve of this guy! "Okay, buddy", I said with a pointed voice, "My teacher did NOT recommend me this book, so we're in the clear. I'd just like to read it so if you could hand it in when you're done that would be great. Think you can manage that?" He looked up again, staring at me suspiciously for a brief moment. "You read Flaubert?", he said, looking at me incredulously. "Well, I would be if you weren't hogging it." He looked at me for another brief moment and then he smiled brightly at me. "So, what else do you read?"

After that day me and Dan had quickly grown to become close friends and even though Dan's friends probably never saw what he liked about me he was always resolute on having me hang with them. After establishing that we shared a love of books we soon also noticed we had similar taste in music and movies. We became inseparable and after our parents let go of the idea of it being puppy love and saw that we actually just got along really well they stopped trying to enforce curfews and rules and let us do pretty much whatever we wanted. Which most of the times just concluded us sitting on the roof of his house and discussing literary matters, music and life in general until his mom would poke her head out through the window letting me know that Renée was about to file a missing person report if I didn't come home soon.

It was only when Dan started talking about college that I realized that our way of life wouldn't last forever and I started to question my own motives for hanging out with him. Dan was one of those brainy kids who'd finish high school one year ahead of his class, and seeing as he was one year older than me he'd be going to college two years ahead of me. To Dan high school had mostly just been the numbing torture of idiocy that he had to endure in order to be able to go to college and really start his life and during his last year of high school college was all he would talk about. I tried to be happy for him, but deep down inside I suspected I'd miss more than our talks and literature sessions when he was gone. And I actually managed to keep my cool almost through the whole year, never letting him know what I really thought about it.

But then one day, at the end of the year, he announced that he was thinking of doing a road trip during the summer and then going directly to college. And that's when I lost it for a while, not really handling the thought of him leaving even earlier than I'd planned. But I suppose that's all it took for him to realize what I'd been thinking about the last year and after a couple of weeks of awkwardness and poor communication one day he appeared on my porch letting me know he'd been thinking the same thing, but saying we should probably take things slow, if we were going to take them at all, seeing as he'd be going to college and we both knew what that did to people. Me on the other hand, I was just thrilled to know that the feeling was mutual and thought to myself that the rest of it would just fall into place with time.

So that's what we did, we took it slow. A couple of weeks later, in a moment that was excruciatingly awkward for both of us, Dan asked me to go to prom with him, because that was what couples did, right? Our parents were also a bit confused when they forced us to pose in front of the camera in the hallway before the dance, but since we kept our whatever it was on the low the probably just figured it was a common thing among friends going to prom together. And honestly it took a while for me and Dan to adjust to the new situation too, seeing as a hug wasn't just a hug anymore and hanging out wasn't as casual as it had been.

But we did good and things were fine, even when Dan went away to college and I only got to see him every other weekend or so. He'd come back home as soon as he'd get the chance and on two rare occasions I managed to convince Renée into letting me visit him over the weekend. I think she was well aware that she wasn't exactly earning any parenting skills and that it could hardly be considered as appropriate with the two of us huddled up in his tiny dorm room. But since Renée never has been the typical parent she let is pass and didn't ask too many questions about it, except for holding an excruciatingly torturous conversation with me about the importance of "being safe". Things were going great. Well, that is, things were going great until they weren't...

 **Writer's note: I hope you don't mind that I embellish on the part about Bella's life before Forks a bit in the beginning, I promise I will get back to the now in the next chapter. I also promise that I have a good reason for building up Bella's past. Just wait and see...**

 **And yet again, thanks for all your kind comments!**


	6. Should I stay or should I go?

Chapter 6

 **Edwards POV**

"This isn't going to be an easy one, considering we've been living together as a family for such a long time, but it is a decision that must be made in order to keep the rest of this family together", Carlisle said as he wandered back and forth across the living room floor. Jasper sat inanimate, without uttering a word, and Alice was sitting next to him, close as if acting as his shield. "What happened last spring has taken a huge toll on Jasper and his ability to control himself but it has also taken a huge toll on the rest of us", Carlisle continued,"I've talked to our friends in Denali and they said they don't mind having Jasper come stay with them for whatever period of time that might be necessary. And I think this might be a good thing, considering what we've all been going through lately…"

Carlisle trailed off, as he knew that there wasn't a total consensus of how the situation should be handled. Edward and Rosalie had been adamant on the fact that something had to be done, and soon since they considered the situation to be unbearable. But Esme frowned upon the mere thought of having one of her children sent away and Emmett wasn't too keen on the thought that Jasper was going away, since he didn't think it was a situation that couldn't be mended with a bit of elbow grease and persistance. Carlisle himself wasn't sure whether it was a good decision or not, but he could see that the situation as of now wasn't going to last.

"I still think this is stupid", Emmett muttered, but didn't continue as Rosalie shot him an irritated look. Edward remained silent, as he felt that he'd already said enough. "Some of us would actually like to be able to live a little for once and get a shot at a normal life", Rosalie sneered, "I for one am tired of worrying whether today is the day that Jasper will ruin the life we've built for ourselves here in Forks. We've got a couple of good years left here before we have to move on and I for one would like to live those years, in the way that we're able." Esme at once looked at her with dismay and sadness, but Rosalie stared right back at her, refusing to budge on her opinion.

"I know I've been a huge burden on this family for quite some time now, and even though I don't relish on the thought of going away to stay in Denali I realize that it's probably the best solution we've got right now", Jasper suddenly spoke. Everybody in the room grew quiet and turned their eyes to Jasper. "I love you all very much and I will miss you when I'm one, you in particular", he said and squeezed Alice's hand. She opened her mouth to protest, bu the raised his hand slightly to silence her and continued. "I've always had a hard time refraining from human blood and I am not myself since what happened last year. I'm not even going to try to deny it. And whatever it takes for me to fix it I do believe it's something that has to come from within and it's something I've got to fix without your help. And hopefully, with time, I'll be able to come back to you."

Rosalie suddenly looked a bit ashamed of what she'd just said and Esme's eyes were on the brink of tears. Carlisle walked over to Jasper and put his hand on his shoulder. "I hope you will remember that we're always on your side, no matter how long it takes and that we all love you and care for you very muh", he said, his voice slightly trembling. "I know", Jasper said and smiled reassuringly at Carlisle , "But I think you will all love me a tiny bit more once I've cured my bloodlust." "I'm not staying here without you", Alice blurted out and leaned closer to Jasper,"I'm gonna stay with you through all of this. I've been through high school enough times, I for one do not think that I'll be missing out on something." She threw a fierce stare in Rosalie's direction, but Rosalie just sighed heavily and frowned at her.

"You will be staying here too", Jasper said and hugged her tight, "No matter how much I love you this is something I've got to do on my own and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold because of me. And let's face it, you could still do with a bit more American history, you're getting a bit rusty". He laughed to himself and kissed Alice's forehead and even though she looked a bit anguished she couldn't help but smile.

Edward sat quiet in the back of the room, still without uttering a word. He couldn't help but feel a bit relieved by the fact that Jasper was going away, even though the thought also made him feel guilty. The thought of not coming home to a war zone every day, not having to keep one eye on Jasper in school all of the time, not worrying... It was an intriguing thought. His thoughts spun even further, to the thought of maybe making some friends, maybe even having friends over. Not that there were that many people in Forks that sparked his interest to be honest, but the new girl interested him in a way that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe it was because she was a novelty in this otherwise so dormant town, maybe it was because she was the first girl he'd met who had an absolutely silent mind…


	7. Everything she wants

Chapter 7

Bella was standing by the window, peering outside to see if there was a car approaching, although it wasn't even 5 pm yet. Edward had been waiting for her by her locker this morning and they'd agreed upon that he'd come over at 5 pm. Charlie had looked a bit awkward and confounded when she'd told him the night before that Edward was coming over so they could work on their assignment, as if he hadn't know his place in the matter.

"Um… So do I...?", Charlie started on looking quizically at Bella. "No, I'm not saying you have to stay clear of the house or anything, but I'd appreciate it if we could have the living room to ourselves so that we can work on the assignment". "Um… yeah. I might just stay a couple of extra hours at the office, I have a bit of paper work that I have to finish", Charlie mumbled and regained focus on his plate. Bella knew this was a lie, seeing as Fork wasn't actually the murder capital of the country, nor a place where anything ever happened, but she let it slip.

Though now she was getting a bit nervous at the prospect of being alone with Edward and didn't quite frown up the thought of having Charlie at home as much as she had earlier. Even if it entailed Charlie sitting by the kitchen table cleaning his rifles like nobodies business or telling fishing tales 'til you'd get seasick.

Suddenly she saw the car coming down the road and she instinctively backed away from the window. "Act casual", she thought to herself and gave the living room one last look over before she walked over to the front door to let him in. The door bell rang and after she'd waited 5 seconds she opened the door.

As soon as he saw her, Edward lit up in a big smile. "Hey", he said, looking a bit awkward too. Maybe he also was a bit nervous? "Hey", she said and stepped aside so that he could enter,"Come on in." He stepped inside and took of his shoes. "Is Chief Swan home?", Edward asked casually. "No, he had a lot of paper work to do so he won't be home for a couple of hours I think", Bella said and Edward looked at her with a mysterious smile. Maybe he too knew that this wasn't true? "Anyhow, I thought we could hang out in the living room", Bella said and showed him the way. They settled on the couch and started working on their assignment. She could tell learning came easy to Edward and she cherished the thought of getting to do a group assignment with someone who actually pulled their own weight. Back in Phoenix she'd ended up doing most of the work herself when in group assignments, since she valued her grades more than sharing the work effort equally…

"So… Do you like living in Forks so far?", Edward suddenly said, looking at her curiously. "Um…Yeah, I do actually", Bella said as she'd pondered the thought for a brief moment," Sure, there are things that I miss. My mom. The city." "The sun?", Edward said. "Yeah, the sun too of course", Bella said and laughed,"It's not like the weather is all that up here. But all in all I kinda like it here. I like the stability and the routine of living with Charlie, you know what you get. And I like the nature too. And the people have all been pretty nice so far." Edward looked content. "Do you miss your friends?", he asked, trying to sound casual but an undertone of curiosity was to be interpreted. "I actually didn't have that many close friends in Phoenix. I'm not what you'd call a people person", Bella said, suddenly thinking of Dan and she could feel how her mood sank like a rock.

But screw it, right? She hadn't had any friends in Phoenix besides Dan, and maybe a lot because she'd spent all her time and effort on Dan, ignoring the rest of her peers. And where had it gotten her? Nowhere. Maybe Forks could be a new start? Maybe she could make friends her(and get her mind of her old one). It would be nice to have a couple of friends to hang out with and she imagined she'd adjust faster to living here in Forks if she didn't only have Charlie's company to rely on.

"Well anyhow, I like it here", she said and tried to smile sincerely at him, "Once I get to know some of the people at school I think I'll feel right at home here." Edward smiled at me brightly. "Yeah, about that. I don't know if you'd be up for it, but me and my siblings were planning on going to Port Angeles to catch a movie and some dinner on Saturday, if you're keen?", Edward said, suddenly looking a bit insecure,"It's not a big deal or anything, but we like to go there ever so often. Catch a bit of the big city vibes." "Sure, that sounds great", Bella said and smiled comforting towards him, "I'd love to. I haven't been in Port Angeles and even though Forks is nice I've missed the city lights. I just have to ask Charlie first, but I'm sure he's fine with it." Edward looked as he relaxed a bit and he smiled even bigger.

And as if he'd reacted upon hearing his name, Charlie suddenly came barging in the front door. "Hey Bells, I'm home", he announced with a loud voice and went into the kitchen unloading a couple of bags on the kitchen table. "Hey, Charlie!", I called back. "Good evening, Chief Swan", Edward said and stood up as Charlie entered the living room. "Oh good, you're still here", Charlie said and smiled brightly at us,"I figured you kids would be hungry after such a long study session so I loaded up on some burgers and fries on the way home. Nothing sparks the brain activity like a couple of burgers, am I right? Edward, say you'll be staying for dinner?" Apparently spending a couple of hours at the office had helped Charlie settle on the matter of what his role was supposed to be, that being the burger provider… "Yes, of course, sir", Edward said, though looking the slightest bit uncomfortable and I understood him. Who in the whole world enjoys having to interact with someone's parents?

 **Writer's note**

 **I'm really sorry for the long delay with this chapter, I've been way too busy with school and work to have time too write. I'll be quicker with my updates from now on, thank you all for your patience!**


	8. Love will tear us apart

Chapter 8

 **Edward's POV**

Edward opened the front door and stepped inside. He could hear voices coming from the living room. The dinner with Bella and her father had been interesting, even though he'd had a hard time forcing down the food and a quite unpleasant experience trying to force it up again once he'd left. He still quite couldn't get his head around how he had ever enjoyed food, or how humans seemed to enjoy it so much. Most of it smelled disgusting.

He'd enjoyed watching Bella interact with her father, even though in many cases she seemed like the parent rather than Chief Swan. The way she gave him instructions to bring out plates and cutlery as he'd started to unpack the food, opting for eating it straight out of the box. The way she even took out napkins and folded them when Charlie was about to dig into the food. It was amusing to watch her take control of the household, with Charlie mostly looking out of place. The conversation that had followed the meal had also been very pleasant. Edward sensed that Charlie had always had a good eye to the Cullens and even though he hadn't know exactly what to expect he'd been grateful to avoid interrogative and curious questions. Charlie probably believed he had the Cullens all figured out and Edward wasn't about to let him think otherwise.

"Welcome home, sweetie! Why don't you come join us?" Esme called from the living room. Edward entered the room and found his family all gathered. Alice and Jasper sat closely together in the couch and Rosalie and Emmett were engaged in a game of chess. Carlisle sat in his chair going through some papers and Esme sat in hers, a book in her lap. "Did you have a good time at Bella's?",Esme asked, her voice filled with love and yet a hint of curiosity. "Yeah, did you have a _good_ time?",Emmett said, emphasizing the word good as he shot Edward a bit meaning smile. Edward laughed and sat down on the couch. "Yeah, it was nice, I like her. And her dad was there too." "Her dad too? You sick puppy!",Emmett said and burst into laughter. Edward laughed too, and so did the rest of them. Except for Jasper and Alice that is, who seemed to be lost their own world.

"Yeah, her dad too. You can't even imagine what he can do with his gun…"Edward began saying, still laughing. "Okay, that's enough", Carlisle said laughing, raising his hands, "Stop, or I won't be able to ever look Charlie into the eyes again, never mind go fishing with him again." "Okay, okay", Edward said laughing," But to be honest, it was great. I felt like a normal teenager for the first time in ages. We talked, we had some snacks, we just hung out."

"Don't worry, you'll get more where that came from as soon as Jasper is gone", Alice suddenly snapped, looking fiercely at Edward. "Alice, please…"Esme started, but Jasper interrupted her. "It's fine, really", he said," Alice, honey. This has to be done and I don't mind. I'm sorry that I'll be far away from you all and I will miss having this, but it's for the best. And I think I'll be a bit more relaxed when I'm not surrounded by humans all the time. You know, not walking around in an area that smells dinner 24/7". He laughed, but it wasn't a happy laughter. They were all quiet, all suddenly at a lack of words. "Hey, we're gonna come and visit you. Often!",Emmet said, trying to comfort him, "We're gonna build the sickest snow fort ever and we're gonna chase polar bears." "And we're gonna have an even more epic snow ball war than we had the Christmas of '86", Edward added, smiling at Jasper. Jasper laughed, a bit more cheery now. "Really? You're gonna be able to top that? Even the local newspaper wrote about that one. But I have faith in you guys, and I do hope you'll come visit me often."

"Of course we will", Edward said and went over to Jasper to give him a big hug, feeling how his eyes were beginning to water. Jasper stood up and they locked their arms in a big hug. "I love you, you know. That hasn't changed and isn't going to change. We're still brothers", he whispered into Jaspers ear and he could feel Jaspers chin nodding against his shoulder. "I know", he said firmly. "Hey guys, stop it. This is too much of a Hallmark moment, you're gonna make us all cry", Emmett said and joined their hug, leaving both Edward and Jasper breathless with his big bearlike arms.

"I'm gonna miss you so much when I leave tomorrow", Jasper said, his voice strained," But I'm going to come back, sooner than you think, and I'm going to contribute to this family instead of being a burden. I just have to sort myself out first. But I promise you all, I can and I will."


	9. Nothin' but a good time(?)

Chapter 9

I stood by the mirror, turning around for the 1000th time, inspecting myself in the dress. I wasn't really keen on wearing a dress and in fact it was a piece of clothing I rarely wore. But the Cullens always had an air of elegance around them and I didn't want to risk being underdressed in case we ended up at some fancy restaurant. I still felt out of place wearing the dress though so I put on a cardigan over the dress to feel a bit more like myself. I figured that would be enough and went downstairs to wait for Edward to come pick me up.

Charlie was sitting by the TV in his chair as I entered the living room and sat down on the couch. He looked up and smiled at me. "Ehum… You look really pretty, Bells", he said a bit awkwardly. "Thanks, dad", I said and giving it my best to give him a sincere smile. I definitely didn't feel pretty, more like I was out of place and someone was going to blow my cover anytime now. "So…" Charlie said and took a sip of his beer. I was already sensing that he was about to say something that was going to make us both awkward so I braced myself for it. "Yes, Charlie?" "Well, should I ask him in when he comes to pick you up? I don't really know what to do in situations like these, seeing as I haven't had a dating teenage daughter under my roof before. I'm not gonna bring out my rifle or wear my badge or anything, but what would Renee…" "Dad, dad! Whoa!" I interrupted him, "This is NOT a date. It's me and Edward and his siblings catching a movie and some dinner in Port Angeles. Unless we were living in an Amish community there's no one who'd consider this as a date, so you can relax."

Charlie looked relieved and laughed an awkward laughter. "Boy I'm glad I dodged that bullet. I love having you live here with me, Bells, don't get me wrong. But I'm not sure I'm ready to have a dating teenage daughter under my roof just yet, not even a sensible one like you." He took another sip of his beer as to relieve himself a bit more from the awkwardness he'd created. "We're good, dad", I assured him, "I don't plan on dating anytime soon, so we're good. But if I do decide to date you'll be the first to know." "That's all I ask!" he said and sunk back into his chair, looking as if I'd lifted a big rock from his chest.

At the same time I heard someone coming up the stairs to our front door and the doorbell rang. "That's probably them", I said and walked over to open the door. As I'd suspected Edward had dressed up a bit too much for it to be just a regular dinner-and-a-movie-evening and I was glad that I'd opted for the dress instead of my regular jeans and sweater. "Hey, Bella", he said smiling brightly at me, "You look great, I like the dress." "Um, thank you", I said and cringed awkwardly at the comment. Why did I get the feeling this was more of a date than I'd bargained for? "I'll just get my jacket and we can leave."

"Hey there, Edward", Charlie said. He stood in the hallway to the living room and smiled brightly at Edward, hardly playing his role of the protective father very well. "Good evening, Chief Swan", Edward said and smiled brightly towards Charlie. I'd never quite understood how Edward managed to get away with dorky lines like that, pleasing the parents but still not alienating himself from people his own age. The mystery remained… "So you kids are going to sling some cocaine and rob a couple of convenience stores this evening I hear?" Charlie said and looked way too pleased with himself. I had to stop myself from drawing a deep sigh of embarrassment, but Edward only laughed good humoredly at Charlie's dad joke. "Well it is a Friday night, Chief Swan. I hope you'll bail us out when the Port Angeles PD calls you up in the middle of the night", Edward said with a straight face. "You bet!" Charlie said, still looking as he enjoyed his joke a bit too much, "I'll be picking you up with my rifle in the backseat. Can't promise I'll take you home though." Okay, so that's enough.

"We should probably get going!" I interrupted as I put on my jacket, "Port Angeles is a bit of a drive and we want to get there in plenty of time to eat before the movie. I'll see you later, dad." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed out the door. "On a more serious note, I'll be sure to have her home by eleven at the latest", I heard Edward say to Charlie behind me. Edward probably hadn't caught up on the fact that Charlie loved that I was hanging out with him and his siblings on a Friday night instead of sitting at home and making him nervous. He probably wouldn't have argued even if Edward had said that he'd be bringing me back at dawn.

I saw Edward's siblings Emmett and Rosalie sitting in the back seat of the car and I went over to it and opened the door to the passenger seat. "Hey guys", I said as I sat down on the passenger seat. "Hey, Bella!" the both said in unison. "I'm so glad you wanted to come with us to Seattle this evening. It's gonna be so much fun", Rosalie said excitedly and leaned closer to me where I sat, "And more fun for Edward not having to hang out with the two of us alone." "Yeah, about that. I thought Jasper and Alice were coming too?" I said, feeling a bit awkward about the fact that this once more resembled a date rather than hanging out. "Oh, Edward didn't tell you?" Rosalie said, suddenly sounding a bit strange, "Jasper has been accepted to this art school in New York. Not a lot of people know that about Jasper, but he's quite the artist. Anyhow, it all happened quite out of the blue and the arrangements had to be done in a haste, but he and Alice have gone to New York for the weekend. I imagine she wanted to help him settle in in a new town. Esme and Carlisle weren't really thrilled about it, but Carlisle arranged for him to stay at the house of a friend so I think it'll all work out for the best. And I think it was a good thing actually, Jasper has never been good with small towns. I think he'll be better off in a new environment."

When she said the last sentence Emmett shot her a look that I couldn't quite figure out, but my thought was interrupted by Edward opening the door to the car. "So what happened to your war about getting to ride shot gun, Emmett?" Edward said with an amused tone to his voice. "Nah, I figured you two lovebirds would wanna snuggle up in the front seat", Emmett said pointedly with a big grin and nudged Edward's arm. Edward looked uncomfortable and smiled awkwardly at me, but somehow I got the feeling that it wasn't only me who'd gotten the feeling that this was more than a regular Friday night hang out session…


	10. Keep your hands to yourself

Chapter 10

The drive to Port Angeles flew by quickly as Rosalie talked non-stop in the back seat and wouldn't let a single minute pass by in silence. She showed a great interest in me and my previous life in Phoenix, to the point where I pondered the thought of throwing Charlie a hint later that there might be some future deputy material at hand. She didn't refrain from asking any kind of questions and I got a bit uncomfortable when she started asking me questions about whether or not there were any cute guys to be had at my old high school. But thankfully I survived the drive to Port Angeles and the rest of the evening flew by in the same manner.

We started if off with dinner at an Italian place and it turned out me opting for the dress instead of the pants hadn't been in vain. Emmett and Rosalie were both very friendly towards me and I could tell they truly cared for their brother. Edward on the other hand seemed a bit nervous, as if he didn't quite know how to act most of the time nor what was expected of him. Maybe he just wasn't used to hanging out with girls? That did seem rather strange though as he had two sisters whom he seemed to be spending a fair amount of time with. After dinner we went to the movie theatre and picked up tickets for a comedy that had just been released. I was thankful for the fact that none of them seemed interested in watching the latest vampire flick, the one everyone at school had been talking about for the last week. Horror movies always made me queasy…

"I'm glad you came with us tonight", Rosalie said as we stood waiting for the guys to go get popcorn and sodas, "We don't have that many friends our own age in Forks and none of the kids at school have ever really showed an interest in getting to know us. I know it's probably because we might come off as a bit odd in a small town like Forks, but it's still kind of sad. I mean I love my siblings, but sometimes I'd just like to talk to someone outside my own little world." She smiled at me gloomily and I couldn't really buy the concept that she or her siblings would ever have any problems with surrounding themselves with people. She was beautiful, so were all the Cullens in their own way. Add a couple of dollars and fancy cars to that mix and you'd have a pretty good cure for loneliness.

"Well, the kids at school aren't really throwing themselves at me either", I said jokingly and smiled at her, "Edward has been really nice to me in school. I'm glad I got him as my lab partner so I got the opportunity to get to know the rest of you too." "Thanks, Bella. That means a lot to me", Rosalie said and smiled brightly at me," I hope we can all become good friends. I think Edward would like that too." Once again it was hinted towards the fact that this was something more than just a casual Friday evening with friends, but my thoughts on the matter were scattered by the return of the boys.

"Sweets for the sweet", Emmett said handed Rosalie a pack of Skittles. "A hundred years later and that phrase still works for you", Rosalie said with a mysterious smile and gave him a kiss. "I got you Twizzlers", Edward said and awkwardly handed them to me. "Thank you, I love Twizzlers", I said and smiled reassuringly at him. God, why did he have to be so awkward all the time? This was NOT a date. "Shall we go inside?" Emmett said and I suddenly feared having to sit next to Edward in a dark movie theatre for two hours. What if he tried to take my hand? Or even worse, kiss me? How would I dodge that bullet without hurting his feeling yet not being to open about my reasons for not being in the business of dating for a foreseeable future?

But my fears were unfounded luckily enough and even though I caught Edward looking my way a couple of times during the movie he kept his hands at a distance. After the movie we all headed for the car and we drove back to Forks quietly listening to the car stereo. The clock was just about to strike 11pm when we arrived at my house and Emmett and Rosalie had fallen asleep in the back seat by that time.

"So this is me", I said, removing my car belt and getting ready to get out of the car, "Thank you so much for this evening, I had a really good time." "Yeah, I did too", Edward said and smiled serenely at me, "Even though the movie was a bit stupid." "Yeah, it actually was. But I suppose that's the point?" I said and smiled at him. "You're probably right. Let me walk you to the door?" Oh boy… Here we go. Another one bites the dust.

"Okay, Edward, so I'm gonna stop you right there", I went ahead brusquely. "I'm not in the business of becoming Forks High's homecoming queen with you by my side nor settling down here in Forks at all. I really like spending time with you and your siblings but I have no wish to take it any further than that. I came here to do my mom a favor and I admit Forks is starting to grow on me, but I don't need to complicate my life any further than that. You catch my drift?" Whoa… Could I sound like more of a bitch?

Edward looked a bit thrown by my sudden rant but regained his composure quickly enough. "That's fine, Bella", he said in a calm voice, "I don't want anything from you except for your company. And I don't have any plans of complicating your life further. I promise. Okay?" He looked at my with a sincere gaze and the feeling that I'd totally overreacted came over me like a tsunami. "Okay then", I said and tried to restrain myself from getting out of the car and run for the hills, "I just wanted to make sure that we're on the same page in that matter." "We're clear, Captain", he said and shot me a faint smile, "I know I might come off as a bit nervous and even weird sometimes, but I like to think that's because I mostly hang out with these miscreants and don't really know how to act among "normal" people. But I like to think I'm pretty decent deep down." And now I was beyond embarrassed. I was a monster.

"You're the definition of decent, Edward. You've been really cool to me and I truly appreciate it. You took me on as your lab partner, no questions asked, even though you've done most of the work." "That's not true though", he interrupted "Except for you being a whole new shade of clumsy you've actually contributed a great deal to our project." "If you say so… Well, good night, Edward. I'll see you in school on Monday." I smiled at him and got out of the car and he waved and wished me a good night. As he drove the car out of the driveway I could see Rosalie and Emmett stirring from their sleep and sitting up straight in the back seat. I felt mortified at the prospect of them having heard my pathetic conversation with Edward. Had they really been asleep? It seemed a bit too convenient… And why did I get the sense that at least they'd thought of this as more than a casual Friday with friends?


	11. Don't stop believin'

Chapter 11

 **Edward's POW**

"So she didn't throw herself at you, big deal!", Emmett declared, very matter-of-factly, "Not everyone is going to fall at your feet you know."

"Not everyone is going to be like Jessica Stanley", Rosalie added, in a voice that was almost inaudible.

But we'd all heard it and while Emmett laughed I shuddered at the thought that I'd ever considered Jessica Stanley a remotely interesting human being. Jessica had been all over my case when we'd been new in town and at first I had actually appreciated meeting a friendly face for once, not always being the odd one out in a new town. But her admiration for me had soon turned a bit too Glenn Close for my taste and I had bolted for the door after a couple of weeks. She was the kind of girl you'd give a finger and you'd be lucky to be off the hook only losing your arm. Never having been romantically interested in her for me it wasn't a very big loss taking a couple of steps back, her ego probably took the biggest hit, but I suspected she still hadn't quite recovered from it by the looks she shot me in the cafeteria. Jessica Stanley resented me these days and she wasn't shy to let people know what she thought of me and my weird family.

"Can I please be allowed to forget about that episode?", I pleaded, having already lived through too much awkwardness for one evening.

"But you have to admit it was kind of funny, having Jessica Stanley panting after you like a lovesick puppy?", Emmett said and burst out laughing.

"A puppy that sure knew how to use a phone. It was so sad when she just wouldn't stop calling", Rosalie said, her voice beyond condescending, "Sure, it would be nice if we had some friends here in Forks but I'd rather be alone for all eternity than hang out with Jessica and her clones. It's to Bella's advantage that she steered clear of that crowd almost instantly."

" I just kinda figured we had something going on. Maybe I've just been confused by my own astonishment over the fact that I can't hear her mind. I've never stumbled upon anything like it in all the years I've "lived"", I continued. I just couldn't get my head around it. She'd seemed so eager to get to know me and even though I hadn't really considered tonight being a date, seeing as I hadn't asked her out formally and that did seem like the polite thing to do when dating, I still had had hope that that was the direction we were heading. Bella's sudden rejection had taken me quite off guard.

"Well, maybe she just needs new friends, being new in town and all", Emmett said reassuringly, "Maybe when she starts feeling a bit more at home she'll start thinking of you differently."

"Or maybe she has other things on her mind. Or rather SOMEONE else", Rosalie broke Emmett off, "I don't know about you guys but I definitely heard her heart race when I started asking questions about her life in Phoenix. Maybe she has some old boyfriend stuck on her mind?"

"Hey Rose! Don't be such a buzzkill!", Emmett exclaimed, obviously irritated with Rosalies frankness concerning the subject, "Anyone could get nervous being interrogated by a complete stranger!"

"Or maybe she senses that this family is messed up big time and realized it's better to head for the hills when there's still time", I said, drawing a deep and long sigh. I never quite could escape from the fear of how our family was being perceived by the rest of the world. Even if we were good at hiding it we'd still always be freaks deep down.

"I'm just saying", Rosalie continued sternly, "I think that might just be the case, that she still has some unfinished business back in Phoenix that she needs to sort out. What you should remember about that though, Edward…" She suddenly paused, as if to assure herself of that she had her audience's full attention. "If he's not here to claim her, I don't see why you shouldn't give this your best go."


	12. Message in a bottle

Chapter 12

When I finally woke up it was almost noon. I was a bit perplexed by the fact that Charlie hadn't woken me up, but I supposed that Charlie didn't really know how to handle sleepy teens any more than he knew how to handle study sessions and possible dates. I had lain awake for a good couple of hours after being dropped off at home by Edward and his siblings, pondering my existence, both here and in Phoenix. And Dan. Of course, always Dan. It wasn't entirely true what I'd told Renee the other day, about not having heard from Dan. He'd written me a couple of days after I'd arrived in Forks. I hadn't made a big fuss about me leaving town, not really having any friends to say good bye to but I suppose these things always got out eventually and that he'd found out somehow. I'd promised myself that I'd never punish myself by dwelling in the past I'd had with Dan, stashing away all the stuff we'd shared together and not bringing any of it with me to Forks. But I hadn't thrown it away, secretly suspecting that these memories wouldn't always make me cringe. Or make me wanna cry. Instead I'd handed the boxes(yes, boxes. Dan and I had a relationship filled with memorabilia), over to Renee who'd done nothing but giving me a big hug and never mentioned the boxes again. I didn't quite know where she'd put them and I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to know either. Not yet.

But this was different. It wasn't the past, it wasn't the letters, the concert tickets or all the other stuff I'd put away. It was Dan. My Dan. Or at least he used to be. He'd started the email off with apologizing for his silence, which didn't make much sense to me since he'd been pretty clear about that he didn't want any more contact the last time we'd spoken. I scrolled past that part quite quickly, it just stirred up too many bad memories. Then there was a rant about how amazing college was and "boy, will you be amazed when it's your turn". That part only made me mad, seeing as college had been the thing that initially drove us apart. At least in my book. And then he launched a rant about how he was disappointed that I hadn't let him know that I'd be moving to Forks and that he'd had to find out through Jess Landon instead. And that's when I deleted the email without finishing it.

He had a lot of nerve pretending like it affected him in the slightest way if I was a couple of miles away or hundred miles away. I hadn't heard from him in months, not even on my birthday. That sucked majorly, seeing as I'd celebrated every birthday worthy of remembrance with him. Renee had gone out of her way to compensate for the lack of Dan, giving me a MacBook that I knew she couldn't really afford(but Phil probably could though). But there was no way of making up for the loss of Dan and her painful efforts to do so had rather marked the fact that he was missing than soothed my wounds.

After having deleted the email I'd paced back and forth in my room for a good fifteen minutes, trying to figure out how one should respond to such an email. What can you say to someone who's completely crushed you, really? I then proceeded to blocking his email address to avoid further messages that would damage my mental health. I was going to be rid of Dan Whitaker once and for all.


	13. It's my life

Chapter 13

As I entered the kitchen I found Charlie sitting by the kitchen table, sipping on a cup of coffee that I suspected had gone cold a couple of hours ago.

"Oh, hey Bells!", he said, trying to sound casual but I could tell he was bursting with curiosity,"Did you get a good night's sleep?"

Charlie had gone to bed by the time I'd arrived at the house yesterday, probably thinking it was a part of his act as the cool and laid back father, but I'd seen his light on as I passed by his bedroom door. He wasn't fooling me, not for a second.

"I did. I had a hard time sleeping though", I said and grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I figured since it's one o'clock", Charlie said, still trying to sound all casual and friendly, "Did you catch a scary movie or what?"

I figured it'd be best just to give him a few tidbits from the night before and maybe he wouldn't badger me for further information.

"Yes, it was pretty gory actually. It was that new vampire movie. You know I'm bad with blood." Charlie nodded, knowing I was a total flake when it came to blood.

"And we went to this great italian place before the movie. Tablecloths and everything. Real fancy", I continued, being ironic, but Charlie seemed dazzled by the prospect of a restaurant with tablecloths.

"That seems really nice", he said," Did the others have a good time too?"

This was dad code for "did-you-hit-it-off-with-the-Cullen-kid?" and I had to stop myself from frowning at him for being so lame.

"No one was complaining", I said, trying to end the subject.

But Charlie wouldn't let it go at that.

"That Edward sure seems like a good guy to me, and his siblings are all very charming too."

"Yes, they are all very friendly and nice."

"Not that it's any of my business but if I could pick one boy to date my daughter in this town I'd put my money on Edward. There, I've said it", Charlie said awkwardly, still trying to look casual but not pulling the act of one bit.

"Dad!", I blurted out, mortified, "Stop it!"

"Well, I'm just saying…", he started but I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"No, dad. Just stop. I know you've been talking to mom and I'm sure you're both worried about me, fitting in and making friends, and I'm doing my very best to adjust. But I don't need the two of you teaming up and trying to marry me off to the first boy in Forks that shows me the slightest bit of interest. I like Edward and his siblings and that's that."

"Bells, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life here in Forks or who you should hang out with. I'm just saying I know you had a beau back in Phoenix and I'm not as old-fashioned as I may seem at times. I'm just saying that if you'd like to get back on the dating train I wouldn't get in your way of doing that. As long as it's not that Mike Newton boy, he never up to any good and just the other day…"

"Dad", I once more interrupted him", I did NOT have a beau back in Phoenix, I had a boyfriend. And that ended months ago, and I'm fine, no matter what mom says. And if, very big IF I do decide to get back on the dating train you will be the first to know, I promise. Until then I'd prefer to pick my own dates. Okay?"

Charlie cringed so much in his seat I was afraid that the ground would suddenly open beneath his chair and swallow him whole. But then he straightened up in his chair and tried to get back into his casual and laid back dad character.

"That sounds great, Bells. I'm just as comfortable as you talking about these things, but Renee insisted I'd bring it up when she called me yesterday and I told her you'd gone to the movies with Edward and his siblings."

I might have known that this discussion was the work of Renee rather than Charlie and I tried to ease up a bit, seeing as Charlie was just the messenger here.

"Really, it's fine dad. You know how mom is. Too overprotective at times, even though she means well. I'll talk to her later, okay?"

Charlie looked relieved at the thought of not having to report back to Renee himself and took a big sip of the coffee, and then made a face realizing the coffee was cold. Probably he'd forgotten that part of his cool dad act, pretending he'd just sat down to have a cup of coffee.

"I think that would be good. And please don't tell her how I completely blew this conversation, okay?"

"Pinky swear, dad", I said and smiled reassuringly at him.


	14. Livin' on a prayer

Chapter 14

It had begun gradually, the change. At first it had just been something in his voice, something that made him sound a bit distant. I had just figured that he had a lot of new stuff to take in, after all college was supposed to be a lot trickier than high school. Me on the other hand had few challenges to face at school, more than the fact that I ached for Dan on a daily basis. Every class was more dull than the previous and I could not wait to graduate and be able to go to college with Dan. I hadn't really thought much of college choices before meeting Dan, but since he'd had his eyes on the prize since middle school I soon adapted his hunger for higher education and we'd agreed on going to University of Arizona when the time was ready. Sure we'd rather have applied to a more exotic college or perhaps even one of the Ivy league schools, but not I nor Dan really had the money to pay for the tuition and only Dan could dream of landing a scholarship at one of the better universities. So we settled for UA. We visited the school a couple of times, just to make sure we'd chosen the right school, and every time we left we'd agreed on that it would be a great school to spend some time at, as long as we would get to go there together. But that was then...

Come fall Dan went away to UA and I wasn't concerned at all. We'd made plans on how to make it work and I went to visit twice and Dan came home every other weekend. During the week we'd talk on the phone for would call me every day as soon as I'd gotten home from school and we'd jabber away for hours, comparing life in Phoenix with the life at UA. Dan often talked about how much he missed me and ever so often I'd get letters with little poems, funny notes and drawings that he'd made for me. I just couldn't wait to finish high school so I could join him at UA. We had it all figured out, how we'd get an apartment outside of campus when I'd graduated and how we'd finally get to live together. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to get to wake up next to Dan every morning.

But it wasn't long before things started to change and I got the feeling that things perhaps wouldn't be as easy as I'd hoped. Dan started sounding more and more distracted as the fall semester passed and almost every time I called he gave me the sensation that he'd rather be talking to someone else. I tried to ignore the feeling, but come Thanksgiving things had gotten out of hand. Dan had given me a long lecture the week before about how he needed to focus more on his studies and that he couldn't be bothered with my incessant phone calls every evening. I had been caught off guard, but had meekly agreed to reserve my calls for the weekend. Dan had always been very ambitious about his grades, but still, this was not Dan. This was someone else.

But afraid of pushing him away as I was I was prepared to take a whole lot more than restricted phone calls before I gave him up. So instead of confronting him I tiptoed around him, which I can now see probably only bugged him even more. I mean, who wants to be the guy to break a good girl's heart? Not Dan Whitaker to be sure.

But by the time of Thanksgiving the situation had become insufferable. Dan hadn't invited me and my family over for Thanksgiving dinner and I knew things were going downhill from now on. I'd called him in the morning, not even bothering to ask for an invitation to dinner, but just to ask to be given the oportunity to speak to him in private. He on his part did not bother to try and invite us to his family's annual turkey bonanza but instead told me to meet him by the playground on Dalloway lane at nine. I didn't need more than that to know that the battle I'd been fighting for the last couple of months had been lost.


	15. Slick black cadillac

Chapter 15

After having survived the awkwardness with Charlie we actually managed to have a nice quiet moment, me drinking my hot coffee and Charlie drinking his cold coffee, trying to look chill about it. That was one of the things I appreciated about Charlie, the fact that he knew how to be silent without things getting weird. I looked out the window where the rain was trickling down, as always I might add. Ever since I was little I had associated Forks with the rain and fog. Not in a bad way though, I actually preferred the weather here compared to Phoenix with its scorching heat. But it would have been nice with a bit more sunlight. Suddenly a car came up a driveway, a big red pickup truck.

"That must be Santa Claus coming to town", Charlie said with a cryptical smile and then rose from his chair and headed for the door. I kept on looking out the window, realizing it was Charlie's good old friend Billy Black and his son Jacob in the car. Last time I'd seen him Jacob had been about 12 years old, but that was 3 or 4 years ago I reckoned. I got up and went after Charlie, heading out to the driveway to find him chatting animatedly with Billy and Jacob.

"Welcome back, Bella!", Billy said when he saw me come out the door and wheeled over to give me a hug. I leaned down to hug him and lost my breath for a couple of seconds. Looks were deceiving when it came to Billy Black seeing as he was a guy in a wheelchair but with the strength of a bear. "Hey Billy", I said when I could breathe again, "You look good." "I'm still dancing", Billy said and burst out laughing. "He actually does sometimes, you should see him. Or perhaps not", Jacob added. "Hey Jake", I said and hesitated a bit on whether I should hug him or just opt for a hi and a wave. I opted for the latter, since I remembered Jake as being a bit shy around girls. "How's it going?", I continued, not knowing what to say. How lame was I? "Things are good", he said, giving me a friendly smile, "I hope you'll like it here in Forks, even though it can't really compare to the sunshine in Phoenix. If you'd like maybe we could hang out some day and I could show you the does and don'ts of Forks?" This was new, a talkative and not so shy Jacob Black?

"That sounds great, I'd love to. Maybe we could borrow your car someday, Billy? I suppose we can't really take your patrol car for a spin, dad?", I said good-humoredly to Charlie. "Well, you could always take your own car", Charlie said and as soon as he said it I could tell he'd been bursting to utter that phrase. "Huh?", I said, not quite comprehending what was going on. My car? "Well, Billy and I got talking the other day and he was good enough to point out that a big city girl couldn't be expected to be shipped off to the wilderness without having a vehicle to get around. And then he mentioned he happened to have this fixer upper in his yard that was just begging for a new owner and well, seeing it I just reckoned it had your name written all over it. It does, right?"

I still couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. Charlie was giving me a car? "Oh. My. God.", I said, at a lack for better words to describe my astonishment, "This car is mine? MY OWN?" I was starting to sound like Gollum. "Well, if you want it", Charlie said with a wide smile across his face. "I love it!", I blurted out and headed over to check the car out more thoroughly, "This is like the sickest gift I ever got!", I exclaimed eagerly. "Sick is good, right?", Charlie said hesitantly. "Sick equals rad. I'm down with the kids", Billy said. "Oh yeah, you're the bomb", Charlie said sarcastically, still looking very pleased that I liked my gift. "Can we take it out for a drive, me and Jacob?", I asked enthusiastically and jumped in the driver's seat. "Well, it is your car", Charlie said hesitantly, "But please be careful, Bells. You don't have the best track record when it comes to accidents." I couldn't argue with that, given my history. "I'll be super careful, I promise", I said, "Jake, are you coming?" "You don't have to ask me twice", Jacob said and headed for the passenger seat as I started the engine. "Bella, not matter what he says, don't let him drive the car!", Billy hollered as we drove out onto the street. "I won't!", I called back.

When we'd driven down the street I turned to Jacob.

"You can drive for a bit if you'd like you know, as long as you don't tell, Billy. Deal?"

"You're the coolest, Bella", Jacob said with a big smile, "I've been hounding Billy to let me drive for months, but he says I'll have to wait 'til I'm 16. So lame."

"Well, he's probably just thinking of your best, right? That's what parents do", I said and realized I was sounding like an after school special.

"Yes, I know. He's cool most of the time."

We then sat in silence for a while, just watching the woods pass by.

"I think it's really cool that you moved here", Jacob suddenly said," And Charlie is really happy about it, he's been going on and on about it every time he's been over for dinner. Well, dinner… with him and Billy it's more like the blind leading the blind when it comes to cooking. It's a good thing we have home economics in school or else I'd be malnourished by now."

I burst out laughing.

"I know what you mean. Fine cuisine means ketchup at casa Swan. I've already begun to resent it. They're lucky to have us."

"Yeah, you don't say", Jacob said laughing, "Well, anyhow, it's really great that you moved here. And like I said, if you need someone to show you around, make you a home cooked meal or just someone to hang out with, I've been told I'm pretty good at all of the above."

"Thanks, Jake. That's really nice of you", I said, a bit baffled by Jake's directness, "I'll be sure to take you up on that, I could need a friend here in Forks."

"Yeah, a friend", Jacob said, looking very pleased, "So, can I drive now?"


	16. Blue monday

Chapter 16

As I stepped out of my car I noticed Edward and his siblings standing across the parking lot chatting casually, but as always looking everything but casual. They all looked like super models, making me feel even more uncomfortable in my own skin, my hair dampened by the rain and my clothes directly out of the laundry day pile. I was a mess compared to the gods and goddesses across the parking lot. "Hey, Bella!", Edward called across the parking lot, waving his arms at me. "Oh hey guys", I called out and skidded over the icy parking lot to get to them. Just as I reached them I hit an icy spot and I was going down. But as if by a miracle Edward managed to grab me just I was about to fall and steadied me. "Whoa, take it easy!", he said laughing," I know nobody likes a Monday morning, but don't you think it's a bit overkill to commit suicide?" "Yeah, ice is not great for the uncoordinated", I said feeling how I was blushing. I was now not only plain and boring, I was also clumsy. "Yeah, we could tell", Emmett said bursting with laughter. "Well, I'm sure Bella didn't have to put up with all the ice and rain back in Phoenix", Rosalie said reassuringly and I loved her for it, "Your hair looks nice when it gets a bit curly by the rain, Bella." She gave me a big smile and I loved her even more.

"Well, about that, me and Edward were just here talking about how your name means beautiful in Italian. Coincidence, right?", Emmett said with a broad grin, looking as if he was going to burst out laughing, and then he nudged Edward in the side. Edward didn't look pleased by Emmett's joke, to say the very least, and if possible he turned even more pale. "You're embarrassing yourself and Edward, Emmett Cullen", Rosalie said harshly and Emmett's smile shrunk a good couple of inches, "I apologize for my boyfriend's lack of class, Bella." She turned to me. "As a matter of fact, we were talking about you. Not about your name though. We were talking about how we've been talking about going camping but we never actually get around to do it, so we figured we'd actually make it happen. It would be so cool if you'd like to join us?", she said, giving me one of her big smiles.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy… Mother Nature and I were not famous for getting along, I had always been more of an indoorsy person who enjoyed electricity and tap water and all the other comforts of modern society. And who the **** went camping in January? A masochist society? "Um… well I don't know really. Going camping at this time of year? Wouldn't it be a bit cold, I mean?" Suddenly the three of them looked like they'd just seen a ghost and I could see how Edward shot Rosalie a dark look. "Oh, no, not at all!", Rosalie started off, although not sounding very convincing, "We're all about camping in our family, we go all year round. Carlisle bought this crazy tent with heating a couple of years ago, so it never really gets cold." "Yeah, it's really high-end", Emmett added hurriedly," It's got rooms and lights and everything, it's practically a castle." Emmett and Rosalie looked at each other, as if making sure they'd gotten their stories straight. This was so weird and they were giving me the strangest vibes.

"Um, I don't know, guys. I'll have to ask Charlie about it. He's usually quite mellow, but I'd better check with him first", I said hesitantly, not at all sure if I actually wanted to go. Sure, I'd actually never gone camping and perhaps I was missing out on something? And I really did like the Cullen's and I was intrigued by the thought of getting to know them better. I still felt kind of amazed by the fact that they seemed to have singled me out from the rest of the crowd, seeming very eager for me to join them. But it was also a bit weird and I couldn't help but feel there was something going on that I hadn't quite comprehended.

"There's no pressure, whatsoever", Edward added adamantly," If you're not keen on joining us that's totally fine too. Really. I told them you might not want to come, I told them you're not big on Mother Nature." This guy just seemed to know it all. "Don't hate it 'til you've tried it though", Emmett interjected but Edward shot him a dark, dark, DARK look that seemed to shut him up. "It would be nice if you decided to join us, that's all", Rosalie said firmly, adding a smile, "You might even like it." And I actually thought I might, at least with their company. And if they had this fancy tent, and surely a lot of other stuff to make the experience less… traumatizing, then how bad could it be?

"I'll talk to Charlie, just to check. It sounds… interesting", I said and tried to muster a smile for my audience. "Awesome", Rose said and shot me a killer smile, "This will be so much fun!" "So when should I tell Charlie we're going?", I asked. And there it was again, the weirdness. They all looked at each other, as if to make sure they all were going to tell the same version of the story. "Well, we're going away this weekend to visit a couple of relatives, so it would have to be the weekend after that I suppose", Edward said. "Yeah, and we left out tent with them also, we went camping a couple of months ago so we'd better pick that stuff up too. So we can go camping, I mean", Emmett added, sounding ever so weird. "Yeah, exactly", Rose said, as to confirm his story. "Right", I said, just looking at them and wondering if I was being pranked or something. Why were they acting so weird all of a sudden?

"Okay, so I'll ask Charlie and I'll get back to you on that. Okay?"

"Sounds perfect", Rosalie said and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. Edward just stood there looking both smiley and confused, as if he couldn't quite decide on which one he was feeling. Emmett was smiling like a mad man and I couldn't quite figure out whether or not he was just happy or if the joke was on me.


	17. Rebel yell

Chapter 17

 **Edwards POV**

So many things had gone awry in this discussion, I didn't even know where to begin. Oh, wait. I did know where to begin. I'd begin with killing Emmett. Most of the time Emmett Neanderthal humor was endearing, but today it had been mortifying. Bella is Italian for beautiful, really, Emmett? REALLY? I shuddered at the memory. It was times like these that I actually wished that I could read Bella's mind to know what she actually thought of me and my family. She probably thought we were freaks. And boy was she right! And Rose being all persistent, making the camping trip sound more like a hostage situation than an outing with friends. Or whatever we were. Bella had seemed so hesitant about the matter that I'd just wanted to scream "You're off the hook, run while there's still time!" and drag her away from my awkward family.

But then there was this other side of me that was actually quite excited about the prospect of getting to go camping with Bella Swan. I still hadn't quite figured out what it was about her that interested me, but I could sense it growing every day. Every little thing she did seemed to spark my interest. I suppose this is how normal people feel every day, never quite understanding what the other was thinking? It was mind-blowing but also a bit scary. I was still struck by the fear ever so often that she really thought we were the town weirdos and that she hung out with us because she lacked options.

"Hey, Romeo", Emmett said and threw a book at me that had been lying on the living room table, "Writing little love poems in your head, are you?" "You're dead to me, Emmett. Don't even talk to me", I grumbled and threw the book back at him, hard. He caught it with both hands and just kept on laughing. "What you did today was so not cool and you know it!", I said, still infuriated by the mere thought of what had happened earlier today. "Take a chill pill, bro! I was only trying to have your back", Emmett said, now a bit more serious and trying to justify himself. "Well, you ended up making her awkward and hesitant about going with us so great work. Really, Emmett", Rosalie said sourly as she entered the living room,"I know you think your jokes are top notch, but not all do. That was so uncalled for, couldn't you tell you made her uncomfortable?"

Emmett suddenly started looking guilty, maybe realizing his jokes hadn't been as on point as he'd hoped. And he never could take a scolding from Rose. "You really think she was uncomfortable?", he asked hesitantly. "She was", I said shortly, "VERY uncomfortable. I wouldn't be surprised if she dodged out of the camping trip. Which I by the way never wanted to suggest to her in the first place. But oh no, Bella just HAD to come with us. That turned out just great, didn't it?" I was so mad I couldn't think properly. I had thought that maybe, just maybe, I could have a chance at some normalcy with Jasper out of the house, but apparently I didn't have one idiot brother but two. Great, just great.

"So, the bad vibe from the living room is seeping through every fiber of this house, what's up?" It was Carlisle who entered the living room with Esme close behind him. "Just Emmett blowing our chances of having any kind of social circle what so ever", I grumbled without looking at any of them. "Ah, nothing out of the ordinary then?", Carlisle said and proceeded to sit down on the edge of the couch were I was lying down, resenting my existence and this entire family. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the latest addition to the Fork's student body? A certain miss Swan?", Carlisle continued and I wanted to sink through the floor. On top of my brothers I also had a dorky father. Great, just great.

"Edward likes her and we're trying to get her to go out with him eventually. So I and Emmett thought it would be a good thing to do a camping trip, you know, so everyone could get to know each other better. But Emmett went a bit too hardcore on the invitation and I think he might have scared Bella away", Rosalie said. Carlisle got a concerned look on his face. "I see… Well, I know I don't have to lecture you on the subject of taking caution, but I think this is a good opportunity to rehash the subject for a bit. We have to be careful. Always. I know the people of Forks think we're a bit odd, but I think we've all learned to deal with that by now and it's not really a threat to our existence. I know you might think that's it's interesting with a new person in town who doesn't yet have any prejudices about our family, but I urge you all to act with care around Isabella. Her father is the sheriff and we could be in a heap of trouble if she knew our secrets and didn't keep them to herself. Be friends with her, I'm sure she'd appreciate that as much as you appreciate her friendship, but perhaps you shouldn't let her in too much just yet."

"It's not like I was planning on telling her anything about our messed up family, I'm not stupid!" I was so mad. How could Carlisle think I'd risk our secrets so easily? I'd lived this life for more than a hundred years and I knew what could happen if we weren't careful. I knew all too well. "I just wanted to make one friend, ONE friend, who isn't already a part of our world. Is that so crazy? You all have each other, and I don't have anyone. No one, and I'm sick of it. Is that so crazy?" If I still had had the ability to cry I probably would have at this moment. I was so sick of being confined in this house with these people. I just wanted something of my own. Carlisle stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's not crazy at all, Edward. It's not. I think we could all be a bit more understanding of where you're coming from, I know we've all been lacking in that department lately". The rest of my family hummed in unison. So they too had noticed that everything had been about Jasper lately? I suddenly felt a bit of relief. "If you want to try to get to know Isabella Swan, for whatever reason, we'll all support you." "Of course we will, Edward", Esme said and smiled at me. "We'll be supportive too", Emmett said and the rest of the family started laughing as I glared at him. "I'd appreciate it if you could be a bit less supportive, okay?", I said. But I had to admit, deep down I was feeling a bit more positive about the whole thing. Maybe I did stand a chance with Bella?


	18. I'm so excited

Chapter 18

The days kept passing and I quickly forgot about the Cullens' weirdness. I'd sit by their table at lunch and Edward and I had several classes together, so I kept bumping into them. They didn't badger me about the camping trip any further and I still hadn't quite figured out if I wanted to go. I figured I could wait 'til the weekend before asking Charlie for permission and if I decided I didn't want to go I supposed I could just blame Charlie and say that he didn't want me to go. On Thursday night Jacob called me and asked if I and Billy would like to come over for dinner on Saturday and I gladly accepted. I figured the dinner invite probably entailed me and Jake cooking rather than Billy and Charlie, but after giving it some thought I realized that was probably the preferable choice here.

"So, how are you settling in, Bella?", Billy asked cheerfully as we'd all sat down by the dinner table.

"Just fine, thank you, Billy. Everyone has been very kind", I said and quietly wondered how many times I'd be getting that question before people realized that I wasn't perishing here in Forks.

"Bella has made friends with the Cullen kids", Charlie boasted, almost sounding proud. This only confirmed my suspicions about the Cullens being considered as something out of the ordinary here in Forks.

"Is that so?", Billy said happily, "That's a fine bunch of kids. Well, I've only ever spoken to Emmett and Edward briefly while picking up Dr. Cullen for our fishing trips but from what I hear they're all a delight. That Jasper boy is perhaps a bit quiet, not that there's anything wrong about that I suppose. We can't all be jabbering, right?" Billy laughed and Charlie joined him. It was darling to see how the two of them would act like young boys again while being together. I was glad that Charlie had had a friend like Billy all these years.

"Yes, they are super nice. And they are very smart too, getting all A's. Making me feel stupid", I said and laughed a bit uneasily.

"You have nothing to feel stupid about, Bella Swan", Charlie interjected, "You get practically all A's and I wouldn't be surprised if you were in the top ten percent of your class. At least!" Typical Charlie to brag about me when he'd actually never seen any of my grades. I supposed Renee had managed to cover a lot of ground with all her phone calls.

"I know, dad. I'm just saying. They are all very smart, and they don't even seem to have to try that hard. I'm just impressed is all."

"I think Edward and Emmett seem super nice", Jake cut in," I mean, have you seen the cars they drive? They're sick! I wish I could hang out with them, I sure would like to get to catch a ride with those guys. Or maybe even drive those cars…"

"Hold your horses, Jake!", Billy cut him off, "There will be no driving for another year for you."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know", Jake muttered and focused on his food instead.

And right about then I had a flash of genius. I could go camping with the Cullens. And I could bring Jacob. That would ensure the atmosphere of a friendly camping trip of five rather than a romantic getaway for four, which I was still in some way suspecting this trip of being. Bringing Jake would be like bringing my little brother, had I had one. Not quite as lame as bringing a chaperone but still enough to disarm any romance. And on top of that I really liked being around Jake, he felt safe. It was perfect.

"So about the Cullens", I started off, "As you might know they're quite into hanging out outdoors and as a matter of fact they asked me if I'd like to go camping with them next weekend."

Charlie just stared at me incredulously at first and then he burst out laughing. Billy didn't seem to be able to help himself either and soon joined in. The only ones not laughing were me and Jake.

"Ha-ha. Very funny", I said with the grouchiest voice I could muster, "It's not that funny, I'm not quite the city slicker you all make me out to be."

"I'm sorry, Bells. It's just that I got all these images of you making up a fire…"

"Setting up a tent", Billy added, trying to hold it together.

"Woodchopping", Charlie said and that was all it took for them to burst out laughing again.

"You know I have faith in your wildlife skills, Bella", Jake said, always trying to be nice.

"Maybe you shouldn't, I suppose they have good reason for laughing", I muttered and glared at my father, "I'm not really cut out for the wild."

"I'll say", Charlie said and tried to compose himself.

I just kept on glaring at him, annoyed at him for making a scene and annoyed at myself for ever having brought the subject up.

"So. You wanna go camping?", he said and I could tell he was about to start laughing again.

"I do. Not so much for the sake of camping, but I think it could be fun. They're the first friends I've made here in Forks and they seem like a good crowd. I reckon it would be an opportunity to get to know them better."

"Well, I suppose it is", Charlie said, looking as if he was contemplating this sudden turn of events,"I suppose it would be good for you to get out a bit and not sit and home hovering over your books. When would you be going?"

"It's next weekend, it's just from Saturday 'til Sunday. And we'd be nearby, Rosalie said so."

"It sounds like a nice plan to me", Billy said cheerily. And really, who could argue with the idea of a camping trip when there were so many worse things to be had in this world?

"I was actually thinking of asking if Jake could come too, if you'd like that is?", I said turning to Jacob. Now it was Jacobs turn to stare at me incredulously. It was like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"OMG. Are you serious, Bella? Could I come? For real?", he blurted out and just stared at me, "You don't think the others would mind?"

"Of course they wouldn't", I assured him, "It's a friendly hang out with friends, I can't see why they'd mind. And I'd really like you to come."

Jacob just beamed at me and then turned to Billy.

"Oh dad, can I go? Please say I can! You said it sounded like a good idea", Jake pleaded, looking at his eyes with the biggest puppy eyes he could conjure.

"Of course you can go, I trust you'll be in good hands with Bella", Billy said and smiled at me.

"Oh boy! This is gonna be the best weekend ever. We'll make up a fire, we'll watch the stars, we'll barbecue something. Maybe even something we've caught ourselves, maybe fish? Do you know if there'll be a river or a lake where we're going?", he inquired. His enthusiasm was adorable, like a little puppy who'd just been given a bone.

"Take it easy, Jake!", I laughed, "All in due time. But I'm sure we'll be able to find somewhere to go fishing if you'd like. And then we'll build a big ol' fire and completely torch whatever you've caught."

"Hey, easy about that fire part. There will be no torching had", Charlie protested and threw me his best effort of a harsh look.

"Okay, so maybe we won't build such a big fire", I yielded and Charlie looked a lot happier. Everything had turned out exactly to my liking and I was starting to look forward to the camping trip.


	19. I won't back down

Chapter 19

Edward had sounded a bit thrown off when I'd first announced that I'd go with them on the camping trip and that I'd be bringing Jacob Black, and he hadn't been the only one. Rosalie and Emmett had been standing by the car a couple of meters away and even though they shouldn't have been able to overhear our conversation I caught them exchanging meaningful looks, as if reacting to our conversation. Yet again, they were standing a good distance apart from us and shouldn't technically have been able to hear word uttered between us.

"Oh, Jacob Black? Billy's kid?", he asked at last, sounding as if he didn't know who Jake was, even though I was almost certain that he did.

"The one and only. We got talking about the subject last time he came over and he got really excited about it so I asked if he wanted to come along. I hope that's okay?"

If he was going to play dumb, I was going to play dumb. Observing his reaction to my inviting Jake to come along even further confirmed my suspicions that he hadn't quite let go of the idea of me as a potential love interest. Seeing him now I was pretty sure that adding another member to the party hadn't quite been a part of his calculation.

"Of course he can come along, that's probably a good thing too", Edward said at last, trying to act relaxed about the situation, even though he didn't have me fooled. "That tent is pretty heavy to carry, another set of muscles might be just what we need", he continued and shot me one of his famous killer smiles. Still, he wasn't fooling me.

"That's great", I said and flashed him one of my not-so-killer-smiles in return, "I'm sure Jake will be very happy to hear it. He mostly hangs out with the kids at the reservation and I think it would be fun for him to mingle with some people outside of his everyday group. Thanks, Edward, that's really cool of you."

Edward shrugged a bit, trying to look casual, but he actually just looked awkward.

"It's no problem at all, really. We've got room in the car and everything and as far as I'm concerned the more the merrier is key. Am I right?"

"I couldn't agree with you more", I concluded the discussion. Even though I wasn't particularly keen on having Edward thinking sparks were flying between me and Jacob Black I'd rather have that than letting Edward think there was a chance to be had. I was just not in the dating business, and I wouldn't be for a long, LONG time.


	20. U can't touch this

Chapter 20

What did one really need out in the wilderness? I pondered the thought as I packed my backpack. I'd already packed two sets of pants and two warm sweaters. You might think that one extra pair of pants and one extra sweater would be enough for spending a night out in the woods, but seeing as I was prone to accidents I was going to risk freezing to death. I'd probably slip into a lake or something. Nature had never been kind to me and I didn't expect it to change for this occasion.

Rummaging through my drawers, trying to find something decent to sleep in, I happened to stumble upon a piece of clothing I'd hoped I'd been clever enough to leave behind in Phoenix. Apparently I hadn't been as clever as I'd hoped. For a moment I just held Dan's t-shirt in my hands, not knowing what to do with it. It was one of those brainy t-shirts he always wore, the ones where you had to have read some old Russian or French literature to be able to grasp the message or the pun. It read "She wanted to die, but she also wanted to live in Paris". It was Madame Bovary, the book that had once brought us together. He had given it to me before we'd been anything more than friends, claiming since I was always eyeing it I might as well take it. At the time I was just thankful that he seemed to be thinking that I was eyeing the t-shirt rather than him. My heart had already been racing at the sight for him for a good four months now but I wasn't about to tell him that. I didn't wear the t-shirt to school since I figured a lot of people had already seen him wearing it and I wasn't about to start a rumour about something that wasn't anything. But I wore the t-shirt to bed every night from that day on.

When we got around to spending the night together from time to time, about a hundred years later on, he made a couple of jokes about me being a stalker in the making when I confessed that his t-shirt had been a treasured possession of mine for quite a while now.

"You could have just told me you liked me, you know", he commented once as we were lying on, "What is the worst thing that could have lead up to?"

"It could have ruined everything. Us. That's what could have happened", I said matter-of-factly. Me being the awkward one like always, and him being a bit oblivious when it comes to romance, well, it didn't exactly make for a good love story to begin with. I myself was only happy that we'd ever gotten to the I-like-you-too-part so that we could move past being just friends.

"Well, I know you're thinking I'm a bit oblivious when it comes to these things, and I do admit that you probably saw things clearly a good while before I did. But I think I would have caught up, probably sooner than later", he said and placed a kiss on my forehead.

But that was just the thing, the fact that Dan had "discovered" me a good couple of months after I had in fact realized he probably meant more to me than a best friend always made me feel that he had the upper hand in this relationship. Even though I always had a strong feeling that we really did belong together I also suspected that he'd be likelier to break that bond. I know it sounds really stupid but Dan always made me feel chosen and special, even though I suppose he was just your average guy anyone observing us from the outside. To most people in our school our relationship was probably your average high school romance and not at all the epic love story I made it out to be in my head. Except it wasn't. When all the other kids at our school met at drunken high school parties we found each other through Madame Bovary. When other kids passed notes in class to purvey their interest we just decided straight on that we should probably be friends. When other kids chaperoned each other at parties and in school to dare to talk to each other we hung out on Dan's roof, talking about things I'd never told anyone before, and probably never would again.

I'd told him about how I sometimes worried about Charlie back in Forks and how he was getting on without me and Renee. I also told him that I though Charlie was probably better off, at least concerning Renee. Even though my father probably still loved her there was no way in hell that her flighty way of life could ever make him happy. I told him how I secretly wished to be a writer, but probably would just end up studying literature in college so that I could go on to teach English rather than being the next Flaubert. I wasn't even afraid to tell him that he was my first kiss, even though I was pretty sure I wasn't even though we'd never discussed the matter further. Nor was I afraid to reveal that I had never slept with anyone else but him when we got around to that part. It simply didn't seem to make sense to try and hide anything from Dan. We understood each other fully and there was no one I trusted more, not even Renee.

Suddenly a sound outside of my window interrupted my thoughts. I looked out the window but could only see the big willow tree swaying outside my window, its branches easily gracing the window of my room. I looked back at the t-shirt. Well, to hell with all of that, right? This stupid t-shirt only reminded me of all the stuff I'd have to let go to be able to move on with my life. Without a second thought I hurled the sweater across the room and it ended up skidding in under my bed. Great. At some point I'd have to get in there and pick it up so I could get rid of it for real. But it wasn't today, I wasn't spending one more minute dwelling on what had happened back in Phoenix.


	21. More than a feeling

Chapter 21

 **Edward's POV**

As I sat in the willow tree, carefully hidden by the branches, I couldn't help but wonder what the episode I just been witness to had meant. She'd grabbed a piece of clothing from one of her drawers, then stood completely still for what seemed like an eternity. She had her back to the window so I wasn't able to observe her facial expression, but she was unmistakably pondering some heavy stuff seeing as she'd turned around looking furious and ended up tossing the piece of clothing across the room. But after tossing it she quickly regained her calm and proceeded to continue her search in her drawer. Her behavior puzzled me, beyond the fact that I couldn't read her mind. I got the whole part about her being sad about ending up in Forks with Charlie, a father she barely knew, but I still got a feeling that that wasn't all of it.

I must admit that what Rosalie had said to me about unfinished business back in Phoenix had stuck with me. I'm not saying that if she was a girl without a troubled past (or a broken heart?) she'd be throwing herself at my feet, but I wasn't totally unaware of the effect I had on most girls. Then the speech she had made after we'd gone to the movies, making it pretty clear to me that she was off the dating market, made my suspicions about a special someone back in Phoenix grow even stronger. But I hadn't seen or heard anything that indicated there was someone back home waiting for her all the times I'd been hanging out outside her window (okay, I'm a creep). She'd talk to her mom on the phone ever so often and even though the conversation at times seemed a bit strained I didn't catch anything out of the ordinary. I still hadn't gone as far as to search her computer, and I wasn't about to go that far (or was I?), but seeing as she practically never used her computer I wasn't going to find anything there either. It was a funny thing, being slightly obsessed with someone. Before Isabella Swan stumbled into my life I was rarely very interested in getting to know anyone (you can go a long way just by reading people's minds), but since I'd gotten to know her a thousand questions marks bounced around in my head on a daily basis. Everything she did was a mystery.

I still couldn't quite figure out if I had fallen for Bella but my reaction to her bringing Jacob Black along on the camping trip this weekend at least indicated that I wasn't in the business of trading friendship bracelets with her anytime soon. Jacob Black was nice and all, and I was pretty sure Bella wasn't interested in more than being his friend, but he would still get in the way of me getting some alone time with Bella. At least I'd get to spend this weekend with her, that's gotta count for something.

I watched her gather up her things on the bed and starting to pack her backpack. She looked as if she was preparing for the apocalypse, packing ridiculous amounts of clothes. But it probably wasn't a bad thing, seeing as she was a bit clumsy. She'd probably manage to ruin at least one set of clothes by falling or spilling something, I thought to myself and snickered. I'd never met anyone as butterfingered as Isabella Swan, and I'd met some pretty clumsy people during my long existence. Just as soon as I'd thought it, Bella managed to flip her backpack off her bed and spilling its contents out on the floor. I held back my laughter and started climbing down the tree. I threw one last look at her window and then started making my way back to the Cullen residency.


	22. Welcome to the jungle

Chapter 22

As I hoisted the backpack up on my back I almost toppled over from the weight of it. I suppose being safe rather than sorry was the preferable choice, but this was ludicrous. This backpack probably weighed more than I did.

"Do you need a hand with that?", Jake asked and started easing my backpack off my back.

"Really, I'm fine…", I started off but Jake was already strapping my backpack to his backpack.

"Alright then", I yielded and instead opted on carrying one of the bags containing parts of the tent.

"It's not that far, we're gonna make camp in like 15 minutes", Edward said and helped me get a good grip of the bag before grabbing onto his own backpack.

"It's fine", I mumbled. Sometimes I just hated being weak and clumsy, always feeling I wasn't carrying my own weight in situations like these. But on the other hand, the alternative was to engage in some kind of sport, or even worse, having to hang out at the gym. I preferred my scrawny physique to that any given day.

"Let's get moving", Emmett bellowed with his deep, dark voice, startling me to almost topple over again.

"Easy, partner", Jake chuckled and grabbed my arm to steady me, "It's not time to lay down and relax yet".

"Thanks", I said and smiled at him. Being around Jake was easy, it felt almost like having a little brother. He was always bursting with energy and excitement and I never had a dull day in his company. Another of Jakes qualities was that he never pried about my life back in Phoenix. I don't know if it was because he'd already grasped that I wasn't very talkative when it came to Phoenix or if he just wasn't interested. Either way I was grateful for it and being around Jake always made my mind feel quiet. Edward on the other hand I still wasn't quite sure about…

"Ah, I just love being out in nature, don't you?", Rosalie said, locking elbows with me. She was carrying a ridiculously big backpack compared to mine, though she seemed unaffected by it's heaviness. As a matter of fact, everyone in the party were carrying loads way heavier than mine. Way to carry your own weight, Bella…

"Yeah, it's really beautiful out here", I said, trying to sound excited about it. And yes, the surroundings were indeed very beautiful. The green landscape stretched out in a great green ocean that seemed to consume everything around it and even though the sky was cloudy today it was a beautiful day to go camping. But I had never been a big fan of the outdoor scene and honestly I was mostly here for the company. I'd come to grasp that these people actually made me feel good about being here in Forks and even though Edward and his siblings at times made me uncomfortable I still enjoyed myself being around them most of the time. Edward and his siblings always had such amazing stories to tell about all the trips they'd made around the world and I never had a dull moment hanging out with them. Sometimes I envied all the places they'd visited, but I imagine travelling all over the world isn't an impossibility when you have a father that is a doctor. Still, even with a father being a doctor they'd travelled a whole lot more than most people our age and sometimes I even wondered if it was possible to have travelled that much when you were just in high school. Not that I suspected any of them of lying, but it just seemed a lot.

"It's fine if you're not crazy about nature, Bella. With our tent you're gonna be as comfortable as you'll ever be at your own house, I promise. And once we've got a fire started and have some food cooking I'm sure you'll love it, "she said and smiled reassuringly at me.

"I'm just not used to being outdoors like this. But I'm really glad you thought of bringing me alone. Really."

"We're just glad you decided to come along", Rosalie said and smiled. Then she looked in Edward's direction and smiled even bigger. Rosalie too seemed adamant about pair me up with Edward. Too bad she wasn't going to get her way.

After a short walk, as Edward has promised, we reached our destination. It was a beautiful clearing in the middle of the forest. The ground was plain which made it easy to put up the tent. Not that I would know, Emmett and Rosalie did most of the work, but they didn't look all that strained getting it together. Edward and Jake started collecting wood so that we could construct a fire later on. I did my best to be helpful but in the end I figured I'd be better off organizing our belongings at camp rather than destroying the tent or the fire. After half an hour or so we were all done setting up camp and Emmett suggested we should get some hotdogs cooking and then head out for some adventure in the great unknown. We got the fire started and managed to get a couple of hotdogs on there. After we'd finished our meal we gathered what we needed and headed out to explore our surroundings. Jake and Emmett walked ahead of us, Jake acting like an excited puppy like always. Emmett too seemed to be enjoying himself and chattered on with Jake with a million questions about life in the reservation. Jake seemed to thrive, getting the older boys attention and he answered every question with the same enthusiasm. Rosalie walked behind them, appearing to be caught up in her own thoughts. I on the other hand had a bit of a rough time getting around in the forest without slipping, even though no one else seemed to be experiencing the same kind of problems. Go figure… Edward was walking just in front of me, as if to make sure he'd catch me if I were to fall. I wasn't sure if this gesture annoyed me or if it was actually just Edward being a decent guy looking out for me.

"So I figure you don't usually hang out in the woods back home in Phoenix?", Edward asked.

"Well, to be honest no. But then we didn't have this much forest back home in Phoenix to start with", I said, trying to sound pleasant even though I was kind of annoyed of all these "back in Phoenix"-questions Edward threw at me every time he got a chance. But I'd decided my messed up past didn't justify me being a bitch about it. "But it's really nice here, Charlie always used to bring me fishing at the reservation when I was here during the summer", I added. "That's how I got to know Jake and his sisters".

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that you're not a newbie here in Forks, like me", he said and smiled at me, "I've actually never gone to the reservation but I'd like to someday. Maybe we can have our next camping adventure there." He looked a bit amused at what he'd just said, and I was sure he was as convinced as I was that our next camping trip wasn't going to be anytime soon.

"Uhm, yeah. That could be cool", I said, not managing to convince anyone.

"I've always hung out so much in the wild, my family being the outdoorsy kind, I never really thought about the fact that most people don't spend as much time camping as we do", Edward added trying to smooth over my apparent aversion towards the wilderness of Forks. "And if camping isn't growing on you I suppose we could always just go to the movies instead if that is more to your liking. And I promise, there will be no weird "is-this-a-date-or-not" undertones this time". He gave me a teasing smile and I could feel how my face turned red. I was still embarrassed about the speech I'd made to Edward that time and it was obvious he knew it too.

"You just keep on dreaming, chico…" I grumbled at him, even though I was bursting with laughter at my own humiliation.


	23. Who can it be now?

Chapter 23

After a never ending, although quite pleasant hike we returned to where we'd camped, some of us more worn out than others. Jake and Emmett, the new best of buds in our party, made up a fire when we got back and we had a nice barbecue with the stuff we'd picked up before heading into the wild. The tent that the Cullens had brought along was indeed very big and it contained two big "rooms". It was decided that I'd bunk with Rosalie and the boys would bunk together. Even though I suppose Rosalie would have rather spooned with Emmett rather than being stuck with me I would have been a bit weirded out having to share rooms with Jake and Edward. I figured Rosalie too had caught notion of this, since she just went in and dropped our stuff in one of the rooms and claimed it as ours once they'd put the tent together. After the meal everyone was pretty beat and even though Jake and Emmett managed to keep conversation going with their endless banter we all succumbed to fatigue soon enough. Rosalie and I went to bed before the others and I could hear Edward saying goodnight shortly afterwards. Emmett and Jake kept going for another hour and so but then they also went to bed. It was nice to see Emmett and Jake getting along so well and I could tell Jake really appreciated getting the older boys attention. Even though Jake got on just fine with his older sisters I imagined it must be something else having an older brother. But what did I know, I'd never had either.

But even though I was beat physically my mind just wouldn't give me a rest and I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. The noise from the forest didn't help much and even though I wasn't exactly scared of the sounds outside of the tent I wasn't exactly comfortable either. I could hear twigs snapping and sounds that I supposed belonged to all the animals living in these parts of the wilderness. Next to me Rosalie was sound asleep, and with her hair spilling out of the sleeping bag she looked just like Sleeping beauty. It must be nice having looks like that, I thought to myself. Not that I was an ogre or anything, but I was no Rosalie. I didn't make guys gawk and turn around when in public nor did my mere existence spur any wild romantic feelings in most guys. I reckoned Rosalie's presence ensured both.

Suddenly I heard movement outside the tent and I froze in my sleeping bag. So this was how I was supposed to die? In a tent in the middle of nowhere, dressed in my pajamas? As I listened carefully I could hear further movement outside the tent and I ransacked my brain for all the animal knowledge I'd obtained in my life. Was there a possibility that our barbecue had attracted a bear to our camp? Were there bears in this part of the woods? I imagined the answer to both questions was yes. I hesitated at waking Rosalie up, but then decided not to. What if it was nothing but a raccoon out there and I'd woken up everyone for nothing? No, I'd played my part as the clown for most part of the day, stumbling around all over the place in the forest. I wasn't about to be the girl who cried wolf just because of a raccoon. Quietly I unzipped my sleeping bag and slid out of it. I put on my shoes and my jacket and then inaudibly, so as to not wake up Rosalie, made my way over to the exit of the tent. Here goes nothing, I thought to myself as I pulled the zipper up…


	24. All through the night

Chapter 24

 **Edward's POV**

How was it even possible to snore this loud? I'd been totally fine reading my book in my sleeping bag before Emmett and Jake went to bed, but as soon as Jake had fallen asleep it was like being under a bridge with a freight train passing under it every 3 seconds. It was horrible. Emmett seemed to be unaffected by Jakes snoring, only plugging in his ear plugs and watching a movie. I on the other hand couldn't ignore Jake's snoring so easily and even though I focused as hard as I possibly could on getting through "Grapes of wrath" for the umpteenth time I just didn't seem to be able to block him out. After a good 15 minutes of trying to focus I gave up and climbed out of my sleeping bag. "I'm heading out for a bit", I mouthed to Emmett and he responded me just by nodding his head and then returning to his movie.

I unzipped the tent as quietly as I possibly could and climbed out into the darkness of the night. I walked over to the fireplace, that was now only ashes, and sat down on one of the logs we'd placed around it. I clasped my hands tight, folding them in my lap and then turned my gaze to the stars. Even though I'd seen it a thousand times by now the beauty of the night sky always seemed to be able to take my breath away. The sky was an endless dark sea tonight, sprinkled with tiny diamonds. The stars shone bright out here in the wilderness and I could make out countless constellations of stars across the sky. I could still hear Jake snoring back in the tent, but it wasn't as overwhelming as before. Praise the Lord…

As I sat there in the dark my thoughts began to wander, all of them ending up at the same place in the end. Bella Swan. If I'd been uncertain before I was more than certain now. I was falling head over heels for Bella Swan. I couldn't really tell what is was about her, if I was just in love with the fact that I couldn't hear her thoughts or if it was that she still was a bit of a mystery to me or if it just came down to her great personality. Either way, I'd sensed it more than ever today and I'd come to the conclusion that falling for Bella Swan would be inevitable if I kept hanging around her at this pace. And was that really the end of the world? Probably not. To begin with I didn't seem to stand much of a chance, seeing as she was "off the market" for reasons I still hadn't quite grasped. Second, and maybe most important, she'd shown no sign at all of returning my feelings. Sure, I was used to girls throwing themselves at my feet but that certainly wasn't happening here, quite the opposite. She was pleasant enough, as long as I didn't try to step over the invisible limits she'd drawn, and she always listened with interest when I talked. But the same thing went for Emmett and Rose too, so probably it was just the effect of a good upbringing.

So what would falling for Isabella Swan result in? It would result in me pining over her, probably without any response, and in the end it would probably break my heart. Even though things were not looking too good the thought of heartbreak still didn't scare me as much as it should have. I'd walked this earth for more than a hundred years, never risking even an inch of this unbeating heart. Maybe this was the time and the place? And if I was lucky, and that was a very big if, maybe just maybe I would be able to win her over and make her forget whatever it was in her that seemed to be haunting her. Because that was one thing I was sure of by now. After Rose's remark about Bella's heart beats I'd listened closely to them whenever I'd asked her questions about Phoenix, trying to conclude if it was just a coincidence or if it was a fact. And sure enough, as soon as I'd started paying attention to her heartbeats I'd noticed an increased heart rate whenever the subject of Phoenix came up. So yes, I was sure by now that something, or rather someone, back at home was causing Bella to shut down emotionally. This fact was indeed a bit disconcerting but it didn't do much to scare me off either. Phoenix was a long, long way from Forks and since I'd never picked up on her talking to or about a boyfriend back at home I reckoned it was old wounds that just needed time to heal. Suddenly I couldn't help but laugh. God, Edward Cullen… You are such a stalker! You're imagining a future with a girl that doesn't even seem to be comfortable with being alone with you for five minutes. What makes you think you could actually make this happen? And even if it worked out there'd be lies. A lot of lies.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a zipper. As I turned around I could see Bella peeking out of the tent. I must have been very lost in thought to have missed her getting out of bed and sneaking up on my like that.

"Edward, is that you?", she whispered.

"Yes, it's me", I said softly.

I observed her through the obscurity of the night and I could see that she looked frightened. As I listened I could hear her heart racing. Way to go, Edward, scaring the girl you're sweet on.

"I don't know if you've noticed, or if I'm the only one, but Jake could probably wake up a whole house with his snoring", I continued and smiled at her.

I could see her face break into a smile and I noticed her posture became more relaxed than before.

"Yeah, I remember his older sisters making fun of his snoring when we were younger", she snickered. "I suppose that is one of his qualities he hasn't managed to outgrow, even though I've never experienced it myself".

As I watched her I could tell she was still smiling and she looked at ease. Suddenly I realized I was staring. Come on, Edward. Snap out of it!

"So you couldn't sleep either?"

"Nope. I'm not a scaredy-cat or anything but I just find it hard to sleep with all the sounds from the forest. Twigs breaking. Animals. The wind. Everything really".

And stupid guys making noise outside of your tent at night I suppose… Well, this was my shot to have her alone for a while. Here goes nothing!

"Would you like to come and sit for a while?", I asked her, trying to sound as casually as I possibly could, even though I suspected my heart would have burst right out of my chest had it still been beating.

She looked at me hesitantly, not making a move to get out of the tent.

"Um…"she began.

"I'd really appreciate the company, if you didn't mind. I'm not a big fan of sitting alone in the dark, even though it's preferable to having to sleep next to Jake", I lied, yet again trying to sound like I didn't care what she did. Even though I was dying to have her company.

And those seemed to be the magic words because now she got outside and started walking over to me.

"I'm not a big fan of solo insomnia either", she confessed and sat down on the log opposite of the one I was sitting on. She was wearing a pajama with some quirky cartoons on it and a parkas on top of it. She craned her neck and directed her gaze towards the stars.

"Whoooa", she said, looking dazed and amazed by the mere sight of the night sky, "Do they even make skies like these anymore?"

I had to restrain myself from laughing at her reaction. It was endearing. I'd seen night skies all over the world and this one was hardly the most spectacular I'd seen. But I imagined, Bella being a city girl and all, she hadn't been in a lot of dark places watching skies like these.

"Yeah, it's pretty neat. They don't make 'em like this in Phoenix?"

Once more I caught her heart thumping wildly and I cursed myself for bringing of that god damn town again.

"Um, no. Not really. I suppose the smog and the city lights ruin that for us", she said, not sounding all that chipper anymore. You are hopeless, Edward Cullen… Now save this!

"I remember, a couple of years ago, me and my family went to Greece and we went to this far off island. I can't recall what its name was, it probably ended with ymnos or something. Well, that's beside the point, anyhow. On that island you could see every little star in the night sky and they would also reflect in the ocean. You couldn't tell the ocean from the sky, it was like they had merged together. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."

When I was done rambling about that greek island that I'd actually visited 20 years or so ago I noticed she was looking at me. I couldn't read her face at all, but that was nothing out of the ordinary I suppose.

"You and your siblings are so lucky to have visited all these places", she said at last, still observing me.

"Yes, we've been very privileged. I'm aware of that", I answered her. But all I wanted to tell her was that you could travel every country in the world and you might still never find what you were looking for. You could to every city of the world and you might still never find the inner peace you were looking for. And yet again, you could go to a far off place in the woods and then, just maybe you'd find it there. I looked at her and tried to stop myself from drawing a deep breath to inhale her scent from across the fireplace. Yes, you certainly could find that.

"How come you ended up in Forks to begin with?", she suddenly asked.

Her question threw me a bit. We'd been living in Forks for so long that people rarely asked that question anymore and I'd pretty much forgotten the official reasons we'd given upon being asked in the beginning.

"Um…", I started. And then I decided to go with it. "Well, it's complicated to be honest. My parents just figured we'd be better off in a smaller town rather than in the big city, for a lot of reasons. It's all in the past now anyhow, it doesn't matter now."

By the way I knew Bella I imagined that kind of answer would spark a hundred questions but unlike most people Bella respected other people's boundaries and she wouldn't come prying for answers. And just as I'd suspected she just nodded in my direction and then turned her gaze to the stars again. Thanks to my super vision I could see the stars reflecting in her eyes and it made my mind overflow with affection for her. God, you've got it bad, Edward. So, so bad.

"Yeah, I know all about that", she suddenly said, still without taking her eyes off the stars.

Whoa, was this the same secretive Bella Swan I'd known for a couple of weeks now? Was this the part when she started opening up to me? I was afraid to even open my mouth but at the same time I didn't want to let this moment go.

"You do?", I croaked. Man, I'd been dying to hear this for weeks, but now I wasn't so sure anymore if I wanted to hear it. Without any warning she turned her eyes from the sky and directly towards me and now I was more certain than ever that I did not wanna hear this.

"I think you've figured out that I didn't just move to Forks because my mom started dating a pro baseball player by now. Right?"

Her eyes pierced right through me and I knew there was no point in lying to her. Of course she'd noticed all the times I'd subtly, and not so subtly, pried in her past.

"Yes, I think I've grasped that", I said, trying to keep my cool.

"I can tell the story if you'd be interested in hearing it?", she said, her voice totally toneless.

"Yes", I said, without hesitation. "I would."


	25. All out of love

Chapter 25

What was happening to me? Had I lost my mind in the moonlight? Had I gone moon crazy? Here I was, in the middle of the night in some dark forest, about to open up to Edward Cullen of all people about what had gone down back in Phoenix. Edward looked a bit shocked about my sudden opening up to him and I didn't blame him. I'd acted like a clam ever since I got here and I'd been very sparse with the details of my leaving Phoenix, other than the official my-mom-is-dating-a-baseballer-story. And here I was, about to spill my guts to a guy I hardly knew. And the craziest thing of all was that it didn't feel crazy at all. The short time I'd known Edward I'd learned that he was a good listener and that he wasn't the one to let word get around once you told him something. I felt completely sure about my story staying with him if I did decide to tell him. How crazy was that?

"I'm not gonna bore you or make you sad with all the details", I started off.

"I don't mind details", he interrupted me. "Really. If you don't mind telling them." He looked at me, his gaze earnest as ever.

I couldn't help but smile at his serious expression.

"Okay, Mr. Busybody. I'll tell you the details. The ones I can stand at least."

"Sounds fair", he answered, his voice sincere.

I wondered to myself how long he'd been dying to pry this information out of me. Seeing him paying this much attention made it clear to me that there was no way in hell that Edward wasn't into me, you just didn't invest that kind of interest in someone you just wanted to befriend. Edward Cullen had his eyes set on me and there was nothing I could do about it. Or could I? Yes, there was. I could lower his expectations about us ever becoming a thing by telling him what went down between me and Dan and how this left me being damaged goods. I could do that.

"Well, back in Phoenix there was a guy."

"I'd figured as much", Edward answered. He sounded nervous all of a sudden.

"He was my high-school crush. And junior high crush for that matter. And also my boyfriend, for a while at least. We found each other when I was 13 and then we just stuck together. Things took a romantic turn like a year ago. I'd been pining for him for quite some time by then, but I always imagined I'd be forever friendzoned and as long as I didn't have to endure watching him with other girls I was pretty fine about it. It could have been enough just being friends. Then things got real when he started talking about going to college, about a year ago, and I decided I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. So I spoke up and let him know how I felt about us being "just" friends and that I'd be missing more than a friend when he went off to college. It took him a while to catch up but when he did it turned out the feelings were mutual. I was the happiest person alive for 6 months or so. We did the whole high-school couple thing. Prom, silly photos, matching yearbook quotes – you name it."

I paused for a second and watched Edward's reaction. It was hard to tell his facial expression in the dark, but from what I could tell he had a very composed look about him. Maybe this story wouldn't fend him off anyway?

"Anyhow, as high-school romances always go things started getting hard when he left for college. I still don't quite know what happened, seeing as I was the idiot waiting for him at him, like a lovesick puppy. But I imagine the college life made him realize a thing or two, and me just being your average high-school girl, I probably couldn't compete with that. I suppose he just realized that the world was bigger than the world we'd made for ourselves back in Phoenix. And well, after that things started going south. He started taking his time returning my calls, when he did return my calls. His texts grew shorter. He was less enthusiastic about visiting during the weekends and less happy about me visiting him at campus. I hung on to him for dear life, but I realized pretty soon that I was losing him. I was too afraid to bring up the subject, knowing that would only bring on the end even faster. So I stuck to him like glue, no dignity what so ever. I was an idiot. And in the end it didn't make a difference. He broke up with me at thanksgiving. He said he didn't feel like he had before and that he was sure that we'd probably just grow apart even more with the passing of time. That it was just a high-school romance. Only that to me it wasn't. It really wasn't. I miss him every day…"

I could feel my heart aching as I'd uttered the words. It had been months now since I'd talked about Dan. I'd had a complete breakdown in front of Renee just after he'd broken up with me but after that I'd opted for trying to be numb instead. It had served me pretty well so far. But now, talking about this, I realized I was nowhere near being over Dan and that it was eating me up on a daily basis, even though I refused to utter his name. I looked at Edward and realized I'd probably opened up enough, the story I'd just sprung upon him was enough to fill an episode of Oprah. I couldn't quite read what was going through Edward's head right now but he looked dead serious. Probably my story had struck him the way I had wished for it to and he'd realized both my head and heart were elsewhere.

Suddenly he stood up and walked towards me. Before I had time to react he'd sat down beside me on the log and he took one of my hands and wrapped it in his hand.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you", he said looking right at me. "I don't know that guy and I'm not going to say anything bad about him, even though I might feel otherwise, but you are no idiot for having waited for someone you loved."

And there it was, black on white. I loved Dan. I still loved Dan. That was a tough blow.

"Furthermore", he continued. "I know you think I'm trying to complicate your life even further and that I want things from you that you are not willing to give. And that is true."

Whoa, who was this guy even? Who says stuff like this?

"But, I'm not going to and I am not", he continued. "I'm not going to make your life harder, unless you want me to that is, and I'm not asking for anything but friendship from you. Even though I will be honest and admit that the thought has crossed my mind more than once. I'd just like to get to know you, get to know what you're about. I realize that you're going through a tough time right now and I am in no position to ask you to complicate your life further by considering me. So I'm not asking you to do that. And I'm really thankful for you telling me this tonight, I appreciate it. As you said, I knew something was up and I could see that you were building walls around you. Just know that I am not going to try and tear those walls down. The choice is yours. Is that okay?"

I just looked at him, completely dumbfounded. Where did he find courage to say stuff like that? Even when I'd been sure of Dan's mutual affection I'd never dared to speak as boldly to him as Edward had done to me just now.

"That's totally fine, Edward", I said at last. "I'm not unaware of the fact that you've shown interest in me and I would love to be your friend. But at the same time I feel I have to be honest and let you know I can't offer you more than that."

"And that is completely fine. I promise", he said, looking sternly at me.

"Okay then", I said, nervously squeezing his hands with mine. Why did I even do that? I looked him in the eyes and it was impossible to know what he was thinking. He looked completely blank. Man, he was beautiful. Why couldn't I just get over Dan Whitaker and go with this instead? A gorgeous guy had just declared his interest in my in the light of a moonlit sky and here I was bawling about my ex? That just wasn't right. But at the same time I knew I wasn't about to push Dan Whitaker out of my head anytime soon and it would be cruel to ask Edward to wait for that to happen.

Edward shot me a faint smile and I could feel my stomach flip. Had I ruined our friendship for good with this emo speech?

"Are you okay?", Edward asked, and I decided our friendship was probably going to be okay.

"I'm going to be", I said, and for the first time in a long, long time I actually felt like I meant it. I was in a new place, building new friendships and Dan Whitaker was nowhere to be found to ruin this for me. For the first time in months I actually saw possibilities rather than obstacles. My world wasn't going to tumble over for good because of Dan Whitaker.


	26. Point of no return

Chapter 26

 **Edward's POV**

So this was bigger than I'd thought. A whole lot bigger. I couldn't quite remember what I'd initially thought being the cause of Bella's heartbreak, but it wasn't this. Even though I'd never been in love myself I imagined that being dumped by your high-school sweetheart and best friend at the same time must hurt. Like hell. And probably, or most definitely it was something that took time getting over. That's what you get for being stupid enough to fall in love, Edward Cullen. And even when she got over him, there were no guaranties that she'd be looking my way anyhow. I pondered the facts for a short while. No, to be honest things were not looking too good right now. She'd literally just told me that she was off the market and that she wouldn't be budging on that for a long time.

But could I really just be friends? Was that even a possibility at this stage? I glanced at her sideways as she sat next to me on the log, looking at the stars. No, that probably wasn't an option anymore. I had it bad for this girl and that wasn't going to just go away because I wanted it to. I'd just have to ride this one out and hope for a happy ending that involved me.

"So… have you heard anything from this guy since you moved here?", I suddenly heard myself asking.

If I was going to have a chance of winning Bella I reckoned I'd be better off knowing who I was up against.

"Dan. His name is Dan. And no, I haven't heard anything for a long time now. He sent me some guilt trip email a couple of weeks ago about my not informing him about moving here, but I don't see how that is any of his business. I never finished reading it anyhow, so I don't really know what he was saying".

"Oh…", was all I could bring myself to say. So at least this guy wasn't present in her life right now, that must be a good thing, right?

"And I'm not expecting him to either, so that's not what I'm hoping for anyhow. I'm just trying to move on", she continued.

"I think that's wise. Even though I don't know what you're going through right now. It sounds smart."

Captain Obvious saves the day yet again, could I've said anything more obvious than that? God…

"Yes, you are right", she said and suddenly smiled at me.

Maybe I did have some Dr. Phil- qualities after all?

"I'm actually quite glad I came to Forks, it's made it easier for me to get away from the constant reminders in Phoenix. And anyhow, by the time it's time for me to go back to Phoenix for college I'll most definitely have forgotten about all of this."

So she's going back to Phoenix? The sunset state wouldn't be kind to me with all those sun hours… Whoa, just chill, Edward Cullen. You can't even get a date with this girl, you shouldn't be thinking of moving across the country because of her. Just stop it.

"I'm sure you will", I said, wrapping up the topic.

I was in for a rough ride, and I wasn't quite as optimistic as I'd been before.


	27. Little lies

Chapter 27

As I woke up the next morning I still wasn't quite sure if it had been the right thing telling Edward all that stuff about Dan, seeing as I'd opted silence before. But I figured it couldn't hurt having at least one friend knowing about why I'd really moved away from Phoenix. I was a bit awkward about facing Edward at breakfast, but he acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened and after a while I could feel myself relaxing in his presence. Maybe it wasn't so bad letting him in on my secret? And seeing as he liked me I figured it was nicer letting him down this way rather than let him keep guessing why I was keeping him at a distance.

The week after the camping trip flew by and even though I didn't quite neglect my schoolwork I spent a lot of time hanging out with Edward and his siblings. I figured that Edward had let on something of what I'd told him since both Rose and Emmett had stopped making jokes and suggestions about me and Edward dating. I wasn't sure if I was happy about them knowing, but I figured it was better than them trying to push us towards something that wasn't about to happen.

"So, I was thinking maybe you'd like to come over this weekend and watch a movie or something? We could have a sleepover if you'd like?", Rosalie asked as I was putting my things back in the locker.

"Yeah?", I asked hesitantly, wondering again if she and Emmett really had given up on the idea of me and Edward.

"My family is going away for the weekend to visit Alice and Jasper, but I decided to stay here. It would be nice with some company", she added and smiled brightly at me. Okay, so maybe I was being overly suspicious? Obviously she wouldn't want to spend the weekend in that big house all by herself.

"Of course I'll come. It'll be fun. I should probably ask Charlie, but I doubt he'll say no."

"Oh great!", she said enthusiastically, "This is going to be so great! We can order take out and watch some horror movie and maybe do make-overs? It's gonna be awesome!"

I breached the subject with Charlie later that night when we were having dinner.

"Uhm… I don't know what I'm supposed to answer here", he said after pondering the question for quite some time, "Sleepovers are fine I suppose, but I'm not sure Renee would be all that thrilled about there being no parents present".

I'd actually already talked to Renee about it and she'd been overly excited about me making new friends in Forks, never mentioning once it being a problem that Carlisle and Esme wouldn't be around. I figured I could ask her for pretty much anything these days, whatever got my mind off Dan.

"I've actually already asked her about it and she said it was fine. You can call her if you'd like?"

Charlie looked as if a big burden had been taken off his back.

"Oh that's fine then, as long as Renee approves", he said and continued digging into his steak, "I'm really glad that you've become friends with the Cullen kids. It's good for you to get out some, and you could do a whole lot worse."

"Yeah, they're great. They've been very kind to me".

"I reckon they were happy to make a new friend too. I never could figure out why all the other kids stay away from them. I bet they're just jealous of the Cullen kids with all their money and good looks and all. Typical small town envy."

"Yeah, I bet that's it", I said and took another bite of my steak. But somehow I suspected the other kids at school steering clear of the Cullen's wasn't just about envy. I'd noticed the kids watching me hang out with them at school and something Angela had said to me in biology had stuck with me.

"Before you came along they've never really shown any interest in getting to know any of us, they mostly stick to their group. People tried inviting them to parties in the beginning when they'd just moved here, but they never showed up. And they never did say why they moved here in the first place, but there has been some talk. The blonde one, Jasper. He skipped a lot of classes in the beginning when they moved here and he has kept doing so for periods of time ever since. I don't know that the deal is really, but I think he's the reason why they moved here in the first place. He just looks so troubled sometimes. I think they moved here so he could get away from whatever was troubling him where they lived before", she'd said.

I hadn't brought the subject up with the Cullen's, but I had had my suspicions ever since Jasper and Alice moved away. Even though I'd heard them talk about him and how he was doing in New York there was still something off about the situation. Alice was just supposed to go there with him for the weekend to help him get settled, but that was weeks ago now. And even though I didn't speak much to the other kids at school I'd caught up with the surprise surrounding Jasper going to art school. No one seemed to be aware of his artistic talent. Even though it wasn't a total impossibility that no one but Jaspers family knew about his talent, but it did seem strange. I remembered back in Phoenix we'd had some pretty gifted kids in my year, both artistically and musically, but we'd all been aware of them since middle school. You always knew they were going places. So it did seem odd that no one knew about Jaspers talent seeing as they'd lived here for a good two years at least. Maybe I could ask Rosalie about it this weekend? I imagined they didn't want people gossiping about their family if Jasper was in trouble somehow.

"Well, I'm glad you've befriended them. I'll give you some pizza money so you can get something to eat", Charlie added cheerily.

"Thanks dad", I said and smiled at him. Ever since I'd moved to Forks I'd become more and more comfortable around Charlie. Sure, he wasn't a natural at being a dad, but why would he be? He'd missed out on most of my childhood and even though he'd given it his best go when I visited during the summer it still wasn't the same thing as having a kid 24/7. It didn't even feel awkward calling him dad anymore, even though I caught myself calling him Charlie in my head at times. I had a feeling that moving to Forks was maybe one of the best decisions I'd made in my short life.


	28. Come undone

Chapter 28

"So would you like peperoni or pineapple on your pizza?", Rose asked as she dialed the number to the pizza place.

"Why not both?", I said as I made my bed on the floor next to Rosalie's bed. Esme had been kind enough to bring down a mattress from the attic for me to sleep on.

"I like the way you think", she said and smiled at me.

The Cullen family had gone to New York the day before and I'd arrived here in the afternoon. We'd spent the afternoon watching a tv-show that Rose found very interesting and I'd have to admit it wasn't all that bad. Now the clock was approaching dinner time and Rose had insisted we'd make a huge pizza order. On top of that she'd stocked up on enough snacks and candy to last this family a lifetime. I could tell she was very excited about us hanging out and I imagined she didn't have that many girlfriends except for Alice and me.

"So what do you wanna do after? Have you reconsidered letting me color your hair?", Rosalie asked. Rosalie seemed to look at me a bit like a Barbie doll that she could give a make-over. She'd shown me pictures all afternoon of different hairstyles and she'd insisted on painting my nails even though I swore I never wore nail polish. Now she was trying to talk me into that my hair would look great with golden highlights. I've never had much interest in make-up or hairdo's, but Rosalie seemed set on giving me a touch up. Maybe I should give it a go?

"Yeah, Rose, I just don't want any drastic changes to my hair so I'm not sure…"

"It's just highlights for god's sake. And I'm really good at it, I've had a lot of practice on Esme and Alice. You're gonna love it. And if you don't like it it will wash out in a couple of months anyhow. It's no biggie getting highlights."

Maybe a change could be good?

"Sure, do whatever you want with my hair. Just not anything too crazy, okay?"

"Pinky swear", Rose cried excited and started digging through her drawer looking for the stuff she needed for my make over. I just hoped she wouldn't do anything crazy.

The pizza arrived about an hour later and after we'd finished up Rose turned on a movie and started having her way with my hair. She'd put a plastic cap over my hair and she started to pull out strands of my hair through it.

"You have a good natural hair color", she said as she started putting bleach on the strands of hair.

"Thanks". I'd never been too keen on my own looks, I had too much of Charlie in me. My mom was beautiful and she always got people's attention. I imagined her being a very easy-going person also had something to do with it. But her good looks definitely helped. My hair was one of my few good traits do, being very thick and actually a pretty good color. I just hoped Rose wouldn't mess that up for me.

"So, do you like it here in Forks?", she suddenly asked. I figured she'd been talking to Edward after all and I could feel myself tensing up.

"I haven't talked to Edward if that's what you're thinking. He didn't tell me anything other than that you'd talked when we'd gone camping and that he wanted us to stop joking and asking about the two of you. He didn't say why, but I'm sure he had a good reason to ask us to stop", she added. What was the deal with the Cullen's? Were they mind readers the lot of them?

"I'm just asking if you like being here in Forks. That's all", she concluded.

"Yeah, I noticed you've stopped making remarks about us", I said at last.

"Because he asked us to, of course", she said, matter-of-factly. "And he didn't say anything about why but I could tell he meant business so I figured we'd be better off not asking. But if I can make a guess, and I dare say a rather well founded one at that, I would guess that you had some trouble back in Phoenix. Some guy trouble? And I suspect said guy trouble is still troubling you now."

"And that would be correct", I said without hesitating. I'd already known that Rose was on to me and there was really no point in keeping her in the dark.

"I had a guy back in Phoenix and he dumped me when he went to college, to tell you the gist of it. I was very much in love with him and I've been having a hard time letting it go. But I'm doing my best", I continued.

"I'm sorry that happened to you", she said as she worked on my hair. "I had a guy before Emmett and I found each other and he turned out to be nothing like I'd thought in the end. I know it's not the same as the situation you are in, but I know it hurts not getting what you want. I really do."

She sounded sad as she spoke, but since I had my back to her I couldn't see her expression.

"Yes, it does hurt".

"Have you managed to remain friends after breaking up?"

"No, I asked him to leave me alone, seeing as I was the one being dumped. But I doubt that he'd wanted to stay in contact even if I'd asked him to. He seems very busy living the college experience."

"Well, if that is his priority, so be it. I just think the important thing you should remember is that he didn't chose you and then you shouldn't chose him. Some things that are broken can be fixed, but most of the time they cannot", Rose added and there was a strange tone in her voice that I couldn't quite understand. "Anyhow", she went on, "you shouldn't spend too much time dwelling on guys. When the time comes you'll know and when the right guy comes along you'll know. All that stuff is true. It happened to me when I finally found Emmett. And you shouldn't worry about Edward either. He likes you, sure enough. But he's a big boy and he will get over it. You just think about you, okay?"

"It's just not something I prioritize right now, the romantic stuff... But to answer your first question, yes. I really like it here in Forks. Sure, the weather is not great and there isn't very much to do. But I'm very glad I've gotten to know you guys. It's been a big help when it comes to adjusting to living here in Forks. I'm really thankful."

"And we are very thankful to you for wanting to hang out with us. You are a very cool addition to our clique, to say the very least", she said and combed out my hair carefully," We needed some fresh blood in our group, we were getting bored of each other."

"Uhm… Since we're being open about things tonight, would you mind if I ask about what's up with Jasper? Because I'm not totally convinced about him living the artist life in New York".

My heart was pounding, had I really been brave enough to ask? I could feel Rose's hands stop moving in my hair and I could sense her working up an answer.

"You are no fool, Isabella Swan", Rosalie said, her voice sounding slightly tormented. "It's true that Jasper isn't away at art school, even though he is actually a quite talented artist. The truth is that he's been having a lot of problems for a while now, he ended up in bad company where we lived before and even though he is really trying to let his old life go it's not that easy. We've all been having a pretty rough time with him for a good while now and my parents decided perhaps it would do him good to get a change of scenery. So he's staying with relatives for the moment. It's not like he's been sent off or anything, he went willingly. But I think all of us think it was for the best. It was getting out of hand."

Old life? Did that entail drugs or stealing or what? I couldn't quite get my head around what Rosalie had meant, but I concluded it was best not pushing the matter further, seeing as she'd spoken so openly about it. She'd told me what she felt comfortable telling me and that was enough for me. I knew enough about family drama to not go digging through someone else's troubles.

"Anyhow, he's doing so much better now. We hope he'll be able to be back with us by the summer, so that he can attend school here in the fall. That's what we're hoping at least", she added brightly.

"And what about Alice?"

"Oh, Alice couldn't be parted from Jasper. We'd hoped she'd come back after he'd gotten settled in, but she doesn't want to. It's fine by our parents. But we miss her, of course."

I felt a bit bad for prying around in the Cullen's personal business. Of course Alice wouldn't want to be away from Jasper, seeing as she was his girlfriend and everything. But Esme and Carlisle seemed to be pretty cool parents since they let her go with him. I supposed she attended school there though.

"Thanks for telling me this, Rose."

"Of course, Bella. Of course. We probably should have told you before, but it's a sensitive topic in this family. Jasper's former behavior has had a lot of consequences for the rest of us, it hasn't been easy."

"I'm just glad you told me. And I promise I won't tell anyone, you have my word".

"I already figured you were trustworthy", she said happily and stroked my hair. "Anyways, you'll like Jasper and Alice when you get to meet them. They're great."

"I'm looking forward to it", I said, and I truly meant it. The Cullen family was for sure full of surprises and mysteries.


	29. I want your sex

Chapter 29

I was woken up by the sound of something crashing to the floor. I opened my eyes and through the dark I could see Rose sleeping peacefully in her bed. But I was sure enough that I'd heard something and I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep before I'd investigated what it was. I snuck out of the room and tiptoed down the stairs. I didn't turn the lights on when I got downstairs since I didn't want anyone to know I was up, if there was in fact someone downstairs. I moved slowly towards the kitchen, but there wasn't anyone there when I got there. I walked over to the living room and that's when it struck me. Someone was sitting on the couch. I was just about the let out a huge cry when the person sitting on the couch suddenly spoke to me.

"It's just me, Bella. I'm sorry if I scared you. I hadn't planned on cominh home in the middle of the night. I'm really sorry."

It was Edward. Edward Cullen sitting alone in the dark. And he sounded sad, downright anguished. I could just make out his shape in the dark and he had his back turned to me. Why was he sitting here in the middle of the night? And why was he said?

"Are you alright?" I could hear myself asking as I'd managed to regain my composure.

"I'm not great". That was all he said.

I went over to the couch and I could see that he was sitting with his hands in his lap and his back slouched.

"Would you like to talk about it? Rosalie told me about what's up with Jasper before, so you don't have to pretend in front of me", I said and took a seat next to him on the couch.

"She did?", he asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah, she wasn't very specific but she told me he's gone off to stay with relatives since he's been having… a hard time. So I suppose your visit wasn't what you'd expected in some way?"

He just looked at his hands, not answering my question.

"You don't have to talk me if you don't want to", I hurried to say. I wasn't about to press him about stuff he didn't want me knowing. Perhaps he already thought I knew too much.

"Things are just not going the right direction when it comes to Jasper", Edward said, sounding utterly tormented. "I'm just really worried about him. About my family."

So things were as great as Rosalie made them out to be?

"Oh, I thought he was doing better", I mumbled.

"He was, he was", Edward said, sounding as he was about to cry. "But I'm not really buying his whole act that he's getting better and realizing his past mistakes. There's just something off about it. I don't know…" He trailed off, not saying anything more.

A few minutes passed on and he didn't say anything more. Is this the part where you're supposed to hug someone and tell them everything was going to be alright? But what the hell did I know about this situation really? Jasper might be a downright heroin addict for all I knew and I wasn't about to give Edward false hope since I knew nothing about it. Instead I opted for leaning over and giving him a big hug. I could sense him relaxing in my arms and I could feel him leaning his face against my neck. He smelled so good and I could feel his soft hair against my face. We sat still like that for a long while without moving or saying anything. I could feel him inhaling air against my neck and it made me shiver to my very core. After a few more minutes or so I let go of him and he slowly eased out of my embrace. We were left just looking into each other's eyes. And that's when it happened.

I don't know why I did it, if it was me trying to console him or if it was pure chemistry, but I leaned over to kiss him. He didn't shy away from me. Instead he placed his hands against my face and drew me to him. As soon as our lips touch I could sense my mind going blurry. Without thinking, just feeling, I drew him closer to me and let my body merge with his. This was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I could feel my breathing get heavier and somehow I was unable to remember any logical thoughts I'd ever had about Edward Cullen. I wasn't a rookie to these things, seeing as Dan and I had spent quite a few nights together during our relationship, but I'd never felt losing my head this way. I climbed up in Edward's lap and started rubbing myself against him. I could feel him exhale sharply and I noticed that I seemed to be having the same effect on him as he was having on me. I kissed his neck as I was grinding on him and I could feel his hard on under me. It was obvious that he wanted me the way I wanted him.

But as I started unbuttoning the buttons of my pajama I could feel him tensing up.

"I don't think…" he started, but I covered his mouth with mine to make him quiet.

"Don't think", I said and unbuttoned the last button and let my shirt fall to the floor. I wasn't wearing a bra and even though the room was dark I could see Edward staring incredulously at my bare breasts. And that seemed to be enough to make him stop overthinking this and instead he leaned over and let his mouth close around one of my nipples. I let out a hushed moan, careful not to make any noise and risking waking Rosalie up. My pleasured sounds seemed to entice him even more and suddenly I could feel his other hand easing its way into my shorts. I almost blushed at the thought of him touching me there, realizing I was wet as the ocean. But the thought soon left my mind as I could feel his fingers working their way inside my panties and instead my head was filled with only thoughts of lust. I could feel his finger stroking my slit and suddenly one of his fingers parted my lips and slid inside me. I gasped, but he covered my mouth with his, willing me to be quiet. But it was impossible to be quiet when he started pressing his finger deep inside of me and I had to push my face hard into his shoulder to be able to silence my moaning. I could feel my body getting heavier with each stroke. I didn't care anymore if Rose heard us.

Just as I was about to climax he suddenly stopped and took his hand away. He took his hand out of my pants and then went on to licking the finger he'd just had inside me. The gesture made me blush and I could feel myself going stiff in his lap.

"Sweet", he said and smiled teasingly at me. I could feel myself blushing even more, this wasn't at all the coy Edward Cullen I was used to. "Would you like to come with me upstairs, to my room?"

"Yes", I said without any hesitation at all. Suddenly I couldn't remember ever wanting anything more than that.

Without saying anything more he lifted me up and started carrying me towards the stairs. I was feeling a bit exposed with my chest bare, but seeing as there was no one else at home and Rose was asleep I figured it was okay. As we got to Edwards room he put me down on the bed and then started taking my pants off. After having removed my last piece of clothing he stripped down to his birth suit. Even though the lights were off and only the light from the moon shone through the window I could see the contours of his body. This guy was a Greek god by the way his muscles were showing. And as he lay down on top of me I could also tell that this guy was packing some gun. I could feel his member against my stomach as he lay on top of me and it was b-i-g. Once more he started stroking my labia and I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter at his touch. Suddenly he parted my lips and let two fingers slide inside me. Before I had time to react I could feel him thrusting his fingers deep inside of me. I struggled for breath, but felt how I was coming up short. Once more he thrust his fingers deep inside of me and I let out a small cry.

"Would you like me to make you come?", he whispered in my ear as he leaned over me.

"Very much", I said and took a firm grip of his penis. He inhaled sharply as I touched him and then let me guide him with my touch. As he lowered himself on top of me I could feel him sliding deeper and deeper inside of me. This was nothing short of heaven. As he'd slid all of him inside, he started moving, slow at first but then quickening his pace. As he was moving inside of me I could feel him rubbing his thumb against my clit and I sensed myself growing tighter around him. As he moved he was breathing heavily, panting with his face against my neck. Just as I was about to climax he suddenly slid out of me and left me panting for more.

"I want to make this last a while", he said. "Would you roll over to your stomach please?", he said looking intensely into my eyes.

His straightforwardness made me blush once, but without a question I rolled over. I could feel him easing him down on top of me again and once more I could feel him sliding into me. This time he wasn't wasting any time and he thrust himself deep into me at once. I let out a cry and took a firm grip of the sheets.

"I want you to come for me, really hard", he whispered in my ear and suddenly I could feel his fingers on my clit again. Once more his fingers worked his magic on me and I could feel my body getting heavier by the second. It only took a minute or so before his touch sent me through the roof and I could feel myself convulsing under him. As I was coming he removed his hand from my clit and took a steady hold of my shoulders and thrust deep inside of me once more. He let out a hoarse moan and then slumped down on top of me. He was breathing heavily into my ear and every inch he moved made me shudder with pleasure. Suddenly he let his hand wander once more and I could feel his finger closing in on my clit. He started circling my clit once more, slowly letting his thumb rub it in a way that was soon going to send me through the skies again.

"I just really like the sound of you when you come", he whispered into my ears as he was lying on top of me, slowly stroking me to another orgasm. "Are you going to come for me again?", he whispered hoarsely into me ear and then intently stroked my clit a bit harder.

"Mhm", was all I managed to respond and I could feel my body growing tense at his touch.

"Then let me hear you come", he whispered and started stroking me faster. Only seconds after I felt myself climaxing once more and even though my body was shaking all over the weight of his body on top of me forced me to remain still. After I'd climaxed the second time he remained on top of me for a short while and then rolled off me. My whole body was tingling and I could feel every part of my body relaxing. I had almost forgotten how good sex could be, after all it had been a couple of months. But was sex ever this good? Even though it had been a while and my mind was starting to get a bit foggy – no. Sex hadn't been like this before.

"I'd like to do that to you again", Edward whispered in my ear and he was stroking the small of my back. Even though I was far from really grasping that it was me, Bella Swan, lying next to this Adonis I didn't hesitate with my answer.

"I would like you to do that again".


	30. Do that to me one more time

Chapter 30

 **Edward's POV**

So what if she wasn't romantically interested in me? Lying next to her like this must be the next best thing. I stroked her pale skin as she lay next to me sleeping. I couldn't even fathom what had happened tonight and why she'd suddenly chosen to jump me like that, but you wouldn't hear me complaining anytime soon. She drew a deep breath and I was struck by it all over again. Bella Swan was lying here next to me in all her glory and beauty. I'd never done anything like what we'd done tonight before. Yes, reader, I was in fact a virgin before Bella Swan came my way. But being with her everything just came naturally and I could still feel my thoughts go dizzy when I thought of her climaxing at the touch of my hand. If this wasn't heaven is there really a heaven? I traced my fingers along the curve of her hip and gently pulled up the covers around her. Her beautiful brown hair spilled all over the pillow. Were there streaks of gold in it? That must have been Rosalie's doing I suspected. It looked good on her.

So what would be the outcome of what had happened between us tonight? I could already envision how Bella would wake up in the morning, not quite regretting what had happened but still panicked about what I'd be thinking about it. Us. Her. She'd try to distance herself from me more than ever after this. But I wasn't about to let her do that, no chance. I was going to be all casual about it and pretend that I had let my sexual urges get the best of me. I would tell her that I'd gotten the message last weekend when we'd gone camping and that I'd understood that she wasn't looking for a new boyfriend. But that I'd be glad to keep doing what we were doing, no strings attached. No way in hell was I about to tell her that I never had been doing what we were doing before and that I was glad that it was her "popping my cherry". If I told her that she'd know I was about to get clingy and territorial as fuck. And I wasn't going to either way. Being clingy and trying to force myself on Bella emotionally would only lead to her distancing herself from me even further. Suddenly I realized she was watching me.

"Uhm… hi", she started.

"Hi", I said and smiled at her, trying to sound as casual as one can be in situations like these.

"I hadn't planned on falling asleep. I better get back to Rosalie before she notices that I'm missing", she said and started getting up.

"Don't you think we should just have a brief conversation about what happened here last night? No avoid any awkwardness, I mean", I said and put my hand on her arm.

I could tell her heart was beating really fast and I could see her blushing through the dark. She was about to distance herself from all of this, just as I'd suspected. But I was going to beat her to the punch.

"Okay, so I'll be blunt. I know that you're not shopping for a new boyfriend and I'm not in the business of pining over a girl that has some other guy on her mind, that's not what this was. So you don't have to look so worried, I'm not about to start writing you poems or bring you chocolates."

Boy, did I want to write poems about this girl? Sure did.

"I got the message last weekend and I don't want you to think I'm disrespecting your wishes, not at all. But I am a man after all, and you're a beautiful woman, and I just couldn't help myself when you got that close to me. I don't want things to get awkward between us because of this, but in my opinion this was really awesome. We've got chemistry and I'm really turned on by you, and I don't see why we shouldn't do this again if we're both comfortable with it?"

I looked at her intently, waiting for her response. Please don't be weirded out by what I just said, please don't be weirded out by what I just said, PLEASE DON'T BE WEIRDED OUT BY WHAT I JUST SAID!

"Okay…"she finally said. "I can do that. I don't want things to get weird between the two of us either, and I don't want to be weird around Rosalie and Emmett. But I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell them about this?"

"I won't, trust me. The last thing I want is Rose and Emmett joking about this. And I don't think my parents would be overly excited about… or Charlie for that matter."

I could see her shuddering at the thought of Charlie knowing.

"No, I'd prefer if everyone around us didn't learn about this" she said and then continued. "But you're right, we do have chemistry it seems and I for one thought this was really great, actually. I had almost forgotten about how nice sex is."

"Yeah, it's been a while for me too" I said, trying to be convincing. More like a lifetime of no sex, Edward Cullen.

Then we were both silent for a while.

"Okay then" Bella said. "So we're friends with benefits now I suppose?" She had a broad smile on her face.

"Well, speaking of friends with benefits…" I said and stretched out my arms towards her. I embraced her and dragged her over to me, but she didn't resist.

"There's something I've been wanting to try", I whispered in her ear and then I let my fingers start wandering down her stomach.

With her face next to me she smiled at me and gave me a kiss.

"Then do it..." she answered and pulled the covers that were wrapped around her away.

After we'd finished our second round Bella kissed me goodbye and went back to Rosalie's room. I felt a bit bad for Rosalie having to listen to our sex marathon all night, seeing as we don't sleep and have super hearing. But I'd endured quite a few marathons from her and Emmett through the years so I figured it was fair. Bella had seemed fine with our agreement when she'd kissed me goodbye and I hoped that feeling would stick with her. Sure, I wanted more from her, I wasn't going to lie about that. But if this was what I could get right now then so be it.

After a couple of hours I could hear her and Rosalie getting up and heading downstairs. After waiting a good 20 minutes I figured it would be fine to make my presence known. I got dressed and went down to the kitchen. Bella was sitting by the counter, eating scrambled eggs. Rose was sitting next to her, pretending to do the same. We'd all perfected the art of pretending to eat through the years.

"Good morning", I said casually and opened the refrigerator, pretending to look for anything edible.

"Are you home already? I didn't hear you get in" Rose said, cocking one eyebrow at me. Yeah, she'd definitely heard us.

"Yeah, I got depressed being in Denali. So I decided to head back before the others", I said casually. "Did you guys have a good time yesterday?"

"Yeah, we watched a couple of movies. And Rose gave me a bit of a makeover" Bella said and ran her hand through her hair. I was amazed by how casual she managed to sound around me. I was happy that she'd bought my whole friends-with-benefits-speech, but it did sting a little that she seemed so unaffected by my presence. You only have yourself to blame for this, Edward. You're the one who signed up for friends with benefits.

"Looks nice" I said and smiled at her as I poured a glass of orange juice.

"So when will mom and dad be home?" Rosalie suddenly asked.

"I think they'll be home for dinner" I said, not too enthusiastic about it. Both Carlisle and Emmett had been disappointed in me for leaving early, but I just couldn't stand being around Jasper when he got his fits. We'd be having a normal conversation being a family and suddenly you'd just see his eyes go blank and he'd lose himself. It had only happened once this visit, so probably it was true what they said about him getting better by the day. But once was enough to remind me of all the damage he'd done to our family back in Tacoma. The others seemed confident that he'd be good enough to come back to Forks by summer, but I wasn't going to let him anywhere near this town as long as he was anywhere near having one of his bloodcrazes. It just wasn't safe. I looked at Bella who was staring out the window, her head in the clouds. No, I wasn't about to let anything happen to her.


	31. Hello again

Chapter 31

"So, you're sure you're not going to the prom next weekend?" Charlie asked, trying to sound casual, but he wasn't fooling anyone. I didn't need to be a psychic to know that he'd been given firm instructions by Renee about making me go to the prom. Mom had always been adamant about me attending social events, something I'd never been keen on. So it was a relief to be living with Charlie now since I knew he at least wouldn't be forcing me to go to the prom even though I was sure he'd be bringing it up a couple more times before he gave up. I was sure mom had badgered him for prom photos. That was another thing that was never going to happen.

"Yes, I'm quite set on it". I didn't even want to discuss this.

"And the Cullen kids aren't going either?"

Yes, the Cullen kids. Rosalie had asked me if I was thinking of going to prom and I'd told her no way. She didn't seem quite as resentful towards the prom as I was, but she didn't bring up the subject again. Edward and I seemed to be doing good considering what had happened a couple of weeks ago. I'd been afraid that the whole friendship thing would go sour, but nothing had changed between us. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened and at times I'd even catch him being the shy Edward Cullen I'd first gotten to know. When we'd talked about it right after it had happened he'd said that he'd like for us to do it again, but he hadn't approached me on the subject since. Edward being the shy guy he was probably wasn't going to approach me about it either. Which was a bit of a shame really seeing as the sex had been beyond good. But it would probably be a hard thing to keep up anyway since I figured his parents wouldn't be leaving the house every other weekend and Charlie probably wasn't about to let Edward stay the night anytime soon. And I wasn't about to start hooking up in the backseat of a car.

The sex part had been easy with Dan seeing as his parents were away for work a lot and then later on he had his college room. We'd never had to worry about getting interrupted or walked in on. And Renee was pretty chill about these things too and she'd let Dan stay over in my room when he came home from college to visit. But somehow I figured Charlie wouldn't be as open minded about these things. So no, Edward Cullen would have to be forbidden territory for now I supposed.

"Nope, I don't think so" I concluded bluntly.

"It just seems a shame to me to miss out on all your high school experiences like this" he started off, but then he didn't say anything more.

"You know I'm just like you dad. Crowds are not my thing".

Charlie just nodded in understanding and then he kept digging into his dinner.

Suddenly I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I'd gotten a message.

 _Are you home?_

It was Edward Cullen. Well, I'll be damned.

 _Yes. U?_

"So what are you doing tonight? Are you meeting up with the Cullen kids?" Having me hang out with the Cullen kids was most definitely Charlie's goal in life. I figured he was afraid I spent too much time alone since he worked a lot, but I really didn't mind. Not that I minded spending time with the Cullen's either.

"No, I'm just gonna stay in tonight I think. It's a school night after all and I can't be hanging around at the Cullen's all the time. They need time to do their homework too you know. I'll probably just give mom a call later and check up on her. She worries a lot."

"Don't I know it", Charlie said and started clearing the table.

After we'd cleaned up in the kitchen Charlie turned on one of his games and sank down into the couch. I figured he wouldn't move for the remainder of the evening. I headed upstairs and proceeded to call my mom.

"Well hi honey" she responded happily. I didn't call her often enough and even less often since I'd started hanging out with Edward and his siblings. "How are you?"

"I'm great actually. Forks is great." Wow, I wasn't even lying. Forks was pretty great. Sure, there wasn't too much to do around here, but the company was great. "How are you and Phil doing?"

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear it!" Renee always sounded like she'd sent me off to concentration camp when she'd sent me to Forks. I supposed she had a lot of bad memories from her time living here. She'd always been more of a big city person. I missed the Phoenix weather but that was pretty much it right now. And Dan of course. Always Dan.

"Have you been hanging out with the friends you told me about last time?"

Like she didn't know? I knew very well that Charlie was giving her weekly updates on who I was hanging out with and what I was up to.

"Yes, quite a lot actually. We've been up to all kinds of stuff. They make Forks seem a bit less dull".

Oops, big mistake.

"Dull? Oh honey, you know you can always come home. I know I've told you a thousand times by now but if you ever want to come home to Phoenix I'll be on the next plane back there. You know that."

"Mom, I'm doing fine here. Really. You know as well as I do that Forks isn't party capital of the country, but I like it here. It's nice here. Sure, there isn't a lot to do around here, but Port Angeles is close and I've made really good friends. Really."

I didn't want mom to get one of her ideas and come dragging me away from Forks. There was no way I was going back to Phoenix at this point. And I was in fact starting to like it here. And it was only for 1, 5 years more, then I'd be off to college. Forks was just fine for now.

"Sweetie, I'm glad. Speaking of friends, I don't know if I should be bringing this up but…"

"Then don't" I interrupted her. Whenever she started off a sentence like that I knew we'd end up talking about Dan and I wasn't going to spend any more time thinking about him. I'd been doing really good lately distancing myself from him.

"I just wanted to say that I bumped into him when I was back in Phoenix a couple of days ago and he said he'd been trying to contact you. I imagine he wanted to say he was sorry."

The words burned in my chest. I'd blocked Dan's email a couple of weeks ago when I'd gotten another crappy mail, which I never read anyhow. But just knowing that he was still trying to reach out to me hurt. A lot.

"I just don't want to talk to him. Or about him for that matter. I know you're just trying to do the best you can in this situation, but the best you can do here is to not bring it up again. I know you like Dan, but I have to forget about him right now. And I'm doing well here."

"Of course, honey. I won't talk about him again. I promise", she said sounding sad. Mom had a soft spot for Dan big time and I was convinced she was still hoping for us to get back together once I went off to college to. She didn't seem to have understood that Dan wasn't even in love with me anymore. After we'd been done with the Dan talk we managed to have a pleasant enough talk. She seemed to be having a good time travelling around with Phil and I was happy about it. I knew it had been hard on them being apart in the beginning when mom stayed in Phoenix with me and I wasn't about to mess this up for them. After a good 20 minutes we said good night and I went on to browse some clothing sites on my computer. It wasn't likely to find anything wearable in the shops in Forks so I figured online shopping was my best bet so as to not lose my fashion sense entirely.

Suddenly I heard a sound. It sounded like someone was throwing pebbles at my window. But who would be throwing rocks at my window? But I wasn't going to miss it if someone was in fact throwing pebbles at my window so I went over there to see what was going on. Sure enough, there was someone throwing pebbles at my window. It was Edward Cullen. What in the world…

I opened my window and stuck my head out.

"WHAT are you doing here?" I asked incredulously. I was so surprised by Edward standing outside my window I began laughing.

He smiled at me.

"I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out. If you're not busy". He had a sly look about him as he spoke the words. And it struck me. This wasn't the coy Edward Cullen I'd been hanging out with these last couple of weeks. This was the Edward Cullen I'd encountered in the Cullen living room. And I was intrigued by it.

"Why not use the door then?" I asked smoothly.

"Well, I didn't want Charlie thinking we were up to no good. Being alone in your room and all."

This guy had some guts. How was it that he barely dared to look me in the eye one day and then suddenly he showed up outside my window without any warning asking to come up to my room and have his way with me? But the contrasts in Edward Cullen intrigued me.

"So how are you planning on getting up here?" I was going to make him work for it.

"Like this". And all of a sudden he was climbing up the trunk of the willow tree that was growing next to my window. And like it was nothing to him he was suddenly up by my window.

"So can I come in now?" he asked with a smug smile and I could tell that he was pleased with himself for managing to amaze me with his climbing skills.

"Yes, you may."


End file.
